Wake me up before you go pro

"You know how girl's can say - oh I really like her she's great, but if I were to say the same thing  I'd cop it big time mate !!" , "yeah mate, that f@rked yeah, and then". .. Argggghhhh do I have to wake up to this verbal vomit being spouted by the tradies who are working on the finishing touches to the houses next door?   I feel for my headphones on top of my "doona". (when in Australia....) and hit play.. ahhhhh thank the goddess for music. I scoot out of bed and look out my window at the two young tradies below who have no idea that the entire street can hear this heartfelt 'woe is me' bleat... Uh grow up please! I grumble to myself.  Such is life now that we've moved house, we had no idea that the development next door would take this long. Sometimes I wake up to the sounds of drilling (the drill guys the drill... tsk) or banging (again with a hammer...sheesh) and or someone has brought along a MEGA speaker, seriously the size of luggage, ok ok not the 25 kilo bags more like the 7kg carry on ones, but still.. and has ramped up the volume to the max with everything from mumble rap to Ozzie country songs. I shall not complain.. much.. because sometimes when I hear them all laughing together it makes me smile, how wonderful to have a great day filled with such good energy.

Tradie Matey

Every time I think of setting up to video my vlog, I wonder what conversations from the tradies will be picked up on my mic ! Can you imagine? ha ha ha, mind you it would add some spice and humour to the vlog!! Something I feel has been somewhat lacking in my life for a bit, last year was pretty dark, two of my closest friends passed away suddenly within months of each other, that hated phone call when all you hear is sobbing and sharp intakes of breath as the news is broken to you. I'm no stranger to death, we have a complicated relationship, it started when death took my husband away 20 years ago. Wait! What??! 20 YEARS??? I had to count back and do some swift calculations there!! WTH? has it been that long? WOW that was unexpected , and Oi none of those black widow jokes!

 

 However it brings to mind how much life has changed, I said to my buddy Johan, why do they not tell you these things about ageing for kerist's sake! The stiff muscles, creaky joints, the GREY of hair and not only on your head, OMG ...really?... yeah (hear that lad's next door, that's what you're going to be talking about soon enough, hah!) When I called up my mentor and ex boss to get some advice on podcasting, I had asked what he was up to these days, he said " D, I turned 70, I'm supposed to be retired but I can't sit around and do nothing! so I still do some consultancy and compose music apart from going for dialysis twice a week" .. umm .. So many of us have made huge changes in our life, either due to illness, (like me), a change of countries (again I raise my hand ) early retirement, ageing, or just to step away for a total change to help with work life balance. What made you make that change? How did you handle it, what goes through your minds, and how has it turned out? 

I'ma leaving on a jet plane

For me , as I was taking another one of my long walks and nodding to the people walking their dogs or fit mums jogging behind the prams and mumbling curses at the cyclists who zip by ringing their bells , UGH! I'm turning into THAT BAG LADY! I swear I can see myself standing at the corner of the street, muttering at everyone going past and casting them evil looks and showing them many different varieties of finger signs!! Anyway I digress I was thinking, so 6 years ago, the universe tapped me on the shoulder and said "Oi, you need to make some massive changes in your life or you and death are going to have a smackdown, here's cancer deal with them first". (cancer is a bitch who needs a kick in the butt) I thought so what did I learn, and how am I now? I can say, that the stress of the lifestyle I had was not worth it, that I should have learned to meditate earlier  and done more yoga! but I should have been truer to myself, and walked away from a load of situations that I had no control over. The first time I heard Eckhart Tolle the power of now I bawled my eyes out, but you have to be in that head space to want to discover, resolve and have inner peace. 

Eckhart Tolle

They say (and please don't ask me who they are) “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” It is the box in your mind that imprisons you, those false parameters that you set for yourself, and only you can break free from them . There are some vestiges of that mindset sometimes but all in all I feel freer, that huge event in my life made me do a 190 degree turn, and forced the change for the better I feel, and so I ask.. What next?

much love

Dx

Crunchy Thai style salad

Another short video for you, as we get into the warmer weather here , I thought something light would be appreciated. Who wants to spend time in a hot kitchen when you could be outside at the beach or lolling at an open cafe people watching! Here's to life Dxo

Spicy Kale and Romesco pasta

My goodness my head is pounding! No one realises how many pictures and musicbeds I have to go through to get this as right as possible!! I know I'm due to write another blog, lets hope it'll be in the next week or so as I'm going to visit the "Godmother"! ooo I can feel some mischief coming on! Until then Dx

Soba Noodle Salad

Heya Peeps, been busy working on my vids as well as the gift box shop on FB , you can have a peep at it herehttps://www.facebook.com/Truly-Gifted-105624802145227 Hope you enjoy my youtube video, it's an ongoing passion, and a journey I hope you will come onboard for! have a lovely week ahead Dx

Chilli Oil by Daph's Caf

Raise your Glass (Pink)

 Well another year has zoomed by. Hard to imagine so much has happened within this year.  First the CT scans to figure out why my carotid artery was so swollen, then in emergency and then hospital for a bit, a new diagnosis as I was "misdiagnosed" , the tumour is inoperable but I did the radiation, had  the best care, tumour has shrunk, pledged allegiance to my wellness mentor on taking the supplements that are helping me on the reg, felt phychic when I knew the 1kg bag of skittles that was handed to me by my daughter to help with some of the bitter meds would NOT be eaten by me (ha ha hah and I was right,  the midnight shuffles into my room by two legged creatures was on point!)  laughed with the many wonderful volunteer drivers from Bloomhill, who took me in every day for 6 weeks to ACS for my treatment, did  the Conga with the radiation Techies and nurses on my last day,  told everyone I got a few tattoos (it was for the radiation... but I'm thinking of a proper one... hmmm)  lobbed off my long hair to the former cleopatra look I used to have as a lot of hair fell out during treatment but was told that "radiation doesn't cause hair loss.. one also has to look at one's age..."Well colour me purple... was coddled by my close friend and healer who helped me stay in the zone and just get through it all, she made me envious as heck when she went away for a month to travel through France, Greece, Egypt and had the nerve to text me whilst she was on a house boat on the river Nile! but it just made me more determined to travel again! another birthday came and went, another Christmas, and during all this  dodged and swerved around the Covid Crises Delta and now sitting in the eye of the Omicron storm.   

The Clowns cheering me up on the last day

Between all of that I bit the bullet and decided to try dating again... whoaa that's a lot of raised eyebrows.. well when you realise that tick tock, now is the time, you go and do what you can.  Unfortunately the dating online thingy just didn't work for me, I'm gonna admit, and you all can groan and make noises as much as you want, I'm an old fashioned romantic.  You gotta connect face to face with the person, energy, chemistry, what ever you want to call it!  Looking at pictures and reading stats is what I did for my modelling agency when we were putting talent up for commercials not dates!!  however I did make a couple of wonderful friends from that! (always look on the bright side of life) 

 I  finally went back to Adelaide to visit my besties as I had to cancel the trip due to my prognosis, had a total blast, did a load of videoing,  ate a lot, drank a lot, gained weight a lot.. ha ha ha.. I got my junk in mah trunk back dat is for shore! Met some fab people, flirted a little, hey I still have a pulse!

Me and Miz P

Then when I returned I went .. wait for it.. camping!  Oh yea... those images of the bush with no loos and mozzies flying everywhere can now be expunged from your grey matter, I was told I did a version of what people now call uh Glamping! heh heh whatevveeerrr. 

Getting the Wetta in the Water...

It's called a SWAG!

The Regatta set up
 

I had tons of fun, was taken sailing on a Wetta,  which was exhilarating , it's been awhile since I've been on a "boat" , then did some kayaking with a friend on the lake whilst the sailing regatta was on and discovered "hey I got the energy and capacity to do this!", which led me to take down my road bike, give her a little sweet lovin and start over on the riding.  I even bought a pair of .. PURPLE ROLLER SKATES!  go me! he he he. ok ok now that was my daughter's fault, no really, it was ALL her fault, she wanted to start roller skating, asked me if I would join her,  COERCED me into buying a pair of skates and bam! howsyerfather!

Told ya they were purple

Lastly but not least, I've been working on something I've loosely called The Art of Giving, , I'm launching it in the next couple of weeks, took my own sweet time to get it together, but it's ready now and I hope you'll be  there to watch the launch and support me.

In my quiet moments between Christmas and Boxing day, I raised a glass to the Universe, the Angels, those spiritual guides and the ancestors who keep any eye on us all who are earthbound and said "Thank you, I'm still here, I'm alive and I am well". 

Yes it's been a tough year, we've all had to really dig deep, cry, rage and do some deeeeppp meditation,    So I say to you all 

What can be said in New Year rhymes, 

That’s not been said a thousand times? 

The new years come, the old years go, 

We know we dream, we dream we know. 

We rise up laughing with the light, 

We lie down weeping with the night. 

We hug the world until it stings, 

We curse it then and sigh for wings. 

We live, we love, we woo, we wed, 

We wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead. 

We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear, 

And that’s the burden of a year.

From A Poem for Every Winter Day

An Incredibly Awesome New Year to all of you, may you all be happy, loved, safe and healthy.

Dx

Cheers!

A long time coming

Sakinah

It's taken me months to finally sit down and write this blog as hard as it was then as it is now. Lets just rip the bandaid off and go for it. One of my best friends whom I've blogged about under the nickname 'Kina" passed away a few months ago from cancer. I hadn't realised how much it affected me until the black dog of depression was barking in my face. I saw all the FB posts, the texts from friends, messages and calls. I really didn't want to reach out, the only ones were to her beloved husband, her beautiful and strong children and some of her sisters and brothers I have contact with. I don't want this blog to be about heartache and sadness because in many quiet moments of meditation I see her in her tight leather pants, figure hugging top that used to highlight her boobs and show off her perpetual tan and lovely broad shoulders and that really cheeky smile she had with a small nod to me. She's in a good space.

Sakinah, Stace and I (front row) Sarah, not sure and Sophiane back row

I met Kina through another friend in Kuala lumpur, she was a sister of a good friend as well. So whenever she flew in from France we'd all get together and have a great time either having drinks by the pool or dinner out or at her sister's house. She was an incredible designer and seamstress. Trained by the best in France, she's dressed most of the socialites and was very much in demand! 

 When she first made the move to KL we'd go off and have drinks, meet people , talk about her designs, if she didn't speak and was looking into the distance I knew she was concocting a design in her head. She dragged me to so many fabric stores and haberdasheries I've lost count (oh the glazing over of eyes as she picked up another bolt of fabric), she educated me in colour palettes(her fav was plums, greys and silver), she insisted on helping me decorate my home as her's was just so beautiful (hence the caramel shag rug and sand leather overstuffed couch). 

 She helped me through my grief of loosing my husband to cancer,( "c'mon, you're not going to stay young forever, live a little !" ) she was there for me when I had a major operation done ( "did you ask them to do a tummy tuck as well D whilst they were rummaging around in there? "... "shaddap Kina and go away I'm in pain") We spent so many nights at her place eating and sipping wine and talking about everything, and then she fell in love with her now husband! The constant "are you off the damn phone yet Kina, just say goodbye to him! we gotta go!", or can you please stop "texting" him I'm talking to you or hey where did "Kina go?"

Paul an Sakinah

My family always asked if she wasn't with me at some function where's your other half ? My mother and late father who had met her separately, really liked her. My dad would try to converse with her in French and flirt like mad... typical!  When my mum came down from UK,  Sakinah and I had given her a lift to a club to go meet her friends aka cronies aka the ageless with attitude.  When mum got out of the car her  friends grasped her in an embrace and they walked off into the club arm in arm.  I'll never forget Sakinah looking at me and saying "one day D, that's gonna be you and me" I looked at her and laughed, " well I know for sure you'd be wearing hella sexier clothes! " we drove off cackling.

Zuzu, D , Kina and Stash

Her kids were great, so smart, so clever and so together just like their Maman, yes they had a few squeaks here and there of trouble, but Aunty D smiled and kept her mouth shut. She worried about them, their meals when she was caught up working late, or their school, their transportation, their well being and teaching them independence! what an incredible mum. Through all that had been thrown at her she persevered, and turned dust to gold.    

Her reputation grew, and she became very social, her husband (who was then her.. ee gadds dare we say boyfriend? ok partner?) and Kina had moved in together and were now a firm item.  Work was taking me everywhere so our little get togethers became less frequent but we always spoke and manage to catch up, she was now moving  in a different circle of friends, they wanted her attention, her opinion, to be her best friend! It was wonderful for her. 

The Marine Ball

We went to Cambodia together as that was the country of her birth, her sister was getting married, at a beach resort the family owned, she told me stories of how they escaped the Khmer Rouge and what they had to leave behind. The rich tapestry of Cambodia and the mixture of Khmer and French was amazing, her friends from Cambodia respected her so much. The wedding ceremony at the resort was amazing, as a nod to one of their Indian ancestors the ladies all dressed in Saris, and the guests that turned up  were enchanted with Kina. She had that "je ne sais quai".

Sylvia an Kina in their beautiful saris.

As life meandered on and I was yo yo ing between, production, no jobs, radio (waking up to early to be coherent by the time afternoon hit)  we would get together for our own personal supper club, sometimes it was 3 of us with my other bestie Peggers or four if we could rope in another one brave enough to join!. The deal was every one would take a turn hosting the meal, and would talk about the dish they prepared that evening and what it meant to them. ( did I tell you I'm a food anthropology geek?) I loved the friendly competitive spirit we had when hosting!  

 The day finally came when I was leaving Malaysia, Sakinah and her husband invited me to theirs for a pre drink before dinner out, (she had no idea her friends had thrown her a surprise birthday party! he he). When we were saying our goodbyes outside the restaurant, it was poignant as she was leaving for the states with her husband to start a new life there. We took a load of pics and were chuckling away like old times. When I got home she texted me and said, "hey Paul said this is probably the last time we'll see you as we're leaving for the states and you're going to Oz". I said "yea unless you come over" (as her kids were settled in Australia too ,yea we all travelled a lot) . She said "or you come to the States and I'll find you a really good man! " (ahhh yes.. that ol chestnut!)

2017

That was the last time I saw her. She had planned to give me a surprise visit in Oz just after I came out of my cancer treatment, so when she called to say she had suspected cancer, I said "why do you have to copy everything I do?!" I could feel her rolling her eyeballs from the other side of the phone!. We spoke on and off for the next couple of years while she was diagnosed and treated and then the communication eventually went silent.  So my darling wonderful amazing creative friend who would pull me up and give me a talking to , who said "I made D cry.. but I had to do it!" who took care of her 12 siblings single handedly, who did right by her family and friends, who believed in a parallel universe, who loved her kids and man fiercely. I bid you adieu for now. 

We think about you always 

We talk about you still 

You have never been forgotten 

And you never will 

We hold you close within our hearts 

And there you will remain

 To walk and guide us through our lives 

Until we meet again 

 with love Dx