Dodgy Daph's Medical Adventures - Down the rabbit hole Pt 1

This is not for the faint hearted, it is a kelideskope of a ride, and we are going down The Rabbit Hole...

So Monday Come along and the "Godmother" fusses around me so she can send me to the station to go to town as the Bupa Medical Centre for visas  is in the Heart of Brisbane.  I make my way in and am early , for once,  can you believe it.. no neither can I.

The staff are pleasant and do all the usual questions, "are you pregnant"... I fell over the chair laughing... "er no my dear, the plumbing came out a long time ago! "  Mind you when I was waiting my turn I heard the receptionist asking an Asian girl who was also there to do her Medical for her Visa, if she was pregnant, the girl who obviously didn't speak much English and was more into texting her phone looked up and said "Ah?" .  The Receptionist explained, "you have ticked that you are pregnant on this file you filled out online, are you pregnant. ?  "  she says patiently.   The Girl just says " Uh no"...
So the receptionist has to go back to authorise a change in the system.  They do have their work cut out for them.

hanging out at the reception area Bupa Medical 

Eventually I get called in, it's the usual, height, weight, urine sample, questions of lifestyle.. do you drink... ha ha ha,,, well. Lets not go there.  Then it's time for my Chest X ray.  After which I have to go see the Doctor, who's Russian.  I am biting my lip, so not doing the Russian accent here.  She prods and pokes me and asks me all manner of questions and then droops the bomb on me, and says they are not "happy"  (kheappy) with my chest x- ray,  as the left side from the heart down is white instead of black.  So I asked her what it could be , "we don't know, we need some time for diagnosis" Well I asked didn't I?  Is it cancer?  Is it pneumonia?  Is it a collapsed lung" what???
"Can you stay for a little while and I will get the other consulting doctor to speak with you" Dr. Svetlana says.   I'll wait, not like I have a hot date or anything....

Dr I really don't know that much more, hasn't much to say, more like, "you will certainly have to go to the designated "chest specialist" for further investigation, so please don't go back to the Sunshine Coast Just yet, we'll probably try to contact you by four today or tomorrow morning" . I said ok but just to let you now yeah, I don't have TB, Malaysia is not a third world country, we are a developing nation and all of us have to have TB shots when we are born and another compulsory one when we are in grade 6 of school.  So ( everything else is said in my mind and rhymes with rum)

I shakily get my stuff and head downstairs, and stop by the coffee shop to get my head together as I don't know what to do.  I text "the Godmother" who is flat out and says she will call me as soon as she's got a minute.  So whilst I'm having my coffee and croissant I call my Doc in Malaysia and tell her what's happened,  She's so placating, she says  "chill sweetie, You're not displaying any symptoms, so most probably it's either consolidation or pleural effusion (water on the lung)  you had a bad cough back in Malaysia this could have cause it.  so deep breath, and chill ok ?".

at the StellaRosa getting my fav brekkie, a cafe latte and a croissant... such an easy girl to please

I was heading back and get a call for the husband of "the Godmother", hey I'm close by shall I pick you up? he says.  "Sure!, "  they are such a great caring couple these two. (you know the song Fairy tales can come true it can happen to you if you're young at heart...  it's frank sinatra ...peasant ) 

As we head home I give him a glossary of what has happened.   I now have to let my son know, who seems to take it in stride  and we hang around waiting till the next morning, no call.  I eventually get an e mail from the Bupa Centre saying "non urgent further Chest Exams" , basically saying I'll have to go for more tests and it could take any where from 2 weeks to 2 months for the appointment so to be aware for it.   Well thank you very much and we outta here. 

My son (who has now been dubbed Boney M by his Uncles due to his fro)and I had a long trip back, by the time I got home I just wanted to fall in bed and sleep for a week, but no I had 7 missed calls and numerous messages on the phone,  as I was about to hit play the phone rang and it was the Doctor form the Bupa Medical Ctr,
"Daphne we've been trying to call you all day, you have to go to emergency "
"Huh?" is my answer (lucid and succinct as usual) , "Oh why?",
 The Doctor says  "we've discovered you have a lot of Pleural Effusion on your lung and you need to go  to Emergency...now"
 "but I'm feeling fine , can't I go tomorrow" . I say...
"No, you have to go now" Says the Doctor.
Bummer, and I just got in my comfy clothes.

I call down to my daughter and her boyfriend and ask for a ride to the hospital, they take me to the Sunshine Coast University Hospital Emergency (I'm certainly not going back to Brisbane), and the receptionist checks me in, "have you got travel insurance"?  she asks, Yes I have "AIG travel Guard", excellent , they fill out my details , look at the letter from Bupa and hand me a mask to wear.. uh LIKE I HAVE TB for crying out loud.  20 minutes later the receptionist comes to me and say take the mask off luv the doctor says you're fine... (small smirk from me zero to you)

SCUH is the largest infrastructure in Australia so far

Eventually we are sent to see the attending doctor in emergency, she goes over my vitals, asks me the usual "are you vomiting blood?" no, "are you short of breath", no . "do you feel dizzy" no, "have you got night sweats" no, "have you got headaches" no, well I have now with all this palaver!  Anyway, she says we'll have to go get a whole load of X'rays done and CT scans done by them.  So I get to wear the sexy white gown that does up at the back and flaps at your butt.(thankfully and THANKFULLY as we are women and women can be VAIN, i've got me good knickers on!)  It's hospital policy everyone has to be shuttled around in a wheel chair or a bed so I'm chauffeured around from one radiology room to another! wheeeeeee.

The X'ray is done then the CT scan, of which I've never had before.  They stick a cannula in my arm and then flush some saline through.  The nurse says the machine is going to just move me in and out of the tunnel a few time and to do as it instructs.  As I'm conveyed in this electronic voice says "breathe in",  then "hold you breath please", then "breathe out"... right that was fun.  Now for the fun bit really, they have to put the blue dye in my veins, I'm really nervous by this time as I'm not really a medicine girl and hardly take anything , even hard pressed to take a panadol for a headache.  So the nurse says do you have any allergies?  Not that I know of, ok if you feel anything let us know... my heart is racing by now and my anxiety is kicking in, the die gets injected into my cannula in my arm and I'm back on the conveyor.  I tell the nurse my heart is pumping, she say you're anxious my dear, you're ok.  it won't be much longer.

they have different themes on the celing... told my gyne this ages ago...bah

Finally they take me off the CT machine, and wheel me back to the emergency room.  We sit around for a bit and then more blood tests are done.  Finally in an hour Dr big brown puppy dog eyes comes and says "hi Dx , nice to meet you but I wish it was under different circumstances, we've found a large mass on your lung and it doesn't look good" . He's saying all this to me very gently and sadly.. I feel like reaching out and patting his hand,  "so what's the bad news doc"  I ask him, he looks up and says "do you want everyone in here to hear,?"  well it's my daughter so I say yes,  He says " well we suspect it could be cancer, it doesn't look like lung cancer but we'll have to do more tests,  we're worried about the fluids in your lung so you will have to stay in hospital while we sort out what is to be done."

I turn to my daughter and see if she's ok.  "Lani, look at me, it's nothing like what daddy had ya, I"m going to be fine, what would you like to do, you want to go home?  She says "No mummy I'll stay here with you till I know what room you're in."   It's getting close to 11 pm so I send her home and will inform  her where I'll be, after they put me in the respiratory ward. They wheel me into a private room while they wait for place for me.  There's a lot to think about, it's a bit surreal, I don't feel like there is anything wrong with me, I try to shut my eyes and rest and block out all the noise,  tomorrow is going to be  weird with a capital W,  .. I"m thinking man it's the longest time I've spent in my tennis shoes...

Tales from the Bush, pt 4

Day 4, Daph’s Caf (the new moon in Virgo wanes)

I hear clicking on floor boards, some thumping and then some breathing, and it’s close by, do I dare open my eyes, I’m going to have to see what type of creature from beyond is about to attack me.  I look down and two pools of liquid amber are staring at me.  Ahhh morning Doggie.

Doggie

We amble off to forage for food, prod Lurch to see if he’s still alive under the doona, and settle down to some work and coffee.  Doggie’s job is to watch me work and to get underfoot every time I walk around the kitchen.  He’s good at his job I must say.  

It’s time to let the evil cluckers out of the coop, when I open their door, I use my most strident tone and tell them to “get a move on girls, no lollygagging, move it move it move it!”.. Heh Heh, and they all march out in a line.  If anyone saw me curled up in laughter by the coop they would have thought I had lost my marbles completely.

EUREKA!  2 Eggs!

 I duck under the lemon trees, which have manged to scratch up my arms when I divested them of their heavy yellow crop, and look at the roosting area for eggs.  EUREKA! Not one but two eggs!  I do a little jig, look carefully left and right so as not to create any suspicion with the “hen brigade” and leg it back to the kitchen.

I show Lurch my treasure, he just shakes his head, “ma, whatever floats your boat” he says.

As long as there are carbs and high sugar treats, the teenage is happy.

We decide it’s time to explore our surroundings.  I believe there is a rather large dwelling type space, but it doesn’t house people, instead it has row upon row of provisions,  like dead animal flesh , there is even an entire area dedicated to crops that have no roots or soil! “ MUM you twit, it’s the supermarket, lets go !” says Lurch.  Humph teens, such killjoys.

The next day I'm joined by the heavenly child and her boyfriend , we're celebrating Lurch's birthday.  It's been ages since I've driven so I'm whizzing around in the little VW, forgot what freedom having a set of wheels can give you.!  

Just raining, and raining..... and raining

The weekend is full of rain, and hail and we 're batting down the doors and windows.  Such excitement, well at least it keeps me occupied and I don't have to think about Monday which is the dreaded "M" day.  ( that's M for Medical.. yuck)  now that's going to be another adventure.  

Stay tuned as the next adventure turns dark. 

Call me the Mad Hatter

Whichever club I spinned in, Ron was always supportive (@ Duddels in HKG)

"Hey Ron, great to see you " I say to one of my oldest and best friends as I fling my arms around him for a big hug.  "I gotta go to the loo" I add hastily, "Huh?" he says.  "I gotta go to the loo...now!.., I was waiting till you came out of the gates as I didn't want to miss your arrival! "  We were at the air port, I had come to pick him up.. with a full bladder.. of course.  I had invited him to attend my eldest son's wedding, who else would be my right hand man.  I mean  I've known him from when I was 19, Ron was my best man at my wedding, he was the first to know when I was pregnant, who was my roomie when things got tough, and my rock who whisked the kids and myself away for a month when my husband died and is certainly considered a family member. (I won't tell you all terrible things I did to him that included nail polish and toothpicks....)

We catch up in the car on the drive back from the airport,  it's been 3 years since we've seen each other, so much to say, in one hour.  Of course I intersperse my sentences with colourful adjectives to the drivers who are cutting me up on the high way, he cracks up and says " Daphne, you have to chill out", huh  that's rich coming from Mr potty mouth number one when "HE" drives in Hong Kong or Thailand.!

Our last vaccy in Phuket with Sue whom he introduced to me when I lived in BKK 

My youngest son Ayden is at home, waiting eagerly for Ron, they have a bro/dude relationship, which is good, they can commence with the secret "guy talk" as I have to then jet off to sort out yet another chore before the wedding.  When I get home, my daughter eventually arrives from school, gives Ron hugs and a load of sass (while he chuckles, amused as his little Lani is now all gown up) ... what can I say, she's 17 and is flexing her muscles.  It proves to be a hilarious evening, Ayden who's got a whole head full of light brown tight curly hair has had it cut for the wedding , I looked at him  and said to Ron  " Bobby Brown, ain't no body humpin around, he's got a flat top!"  .. which triggers off a youtube playback of our old songs!  Everything came out from  mc hammer, sugarhill gang, George clinton, bobby brown's my perogative, cameo to  Whitney Huston , the kids gave up somewhere around SNAP when Ron and I were singing loudly to "I got the Power" !  

We had two more days to D day, dresses had arrived (yes yes, I buy my dresses online nowadays, no time or inclination to swim around the mall with thousands of folk) but the kids needed dress shoes. Ok for the average Malaysian it's not a problem, but I have a 16 year old kid who was hitting 6F 1 with size 11 feet and a daughter who also had problems getting shoes her size.   Thankfully we managed to find some decent shoes and shirts within the allotted time (hey we were on a tight schedule) , then it was dash straight to Lisa's house who had to exchange some stuff with me for the wedding trays called "Dulang", that she had created, then back home.   I was already exhausted, but I am woman,  so I rolled on.

The "Dulang" that included the traditional gift of "tepak sireh" arranged by www.oxoloco.com )

The Wedding Reception Day arrives, and pandemonium breaks out,  Ron and I pick up the 350 jars of pickled ginger I made for my sons door gifts  from my sister in law's house, who had been kind enough to help me make them and also to keep them refrigerated ( had no more space in mine!).  We then zoomed to pick up the stressed out groom, then straight to the wedding venue to pass them the door gifts and also double check seating arrangements.

 I told Ron it was time for tea once we were done, he looked at me like I was mad, he said " we'll be going to the wedding in a few hours"  I said " believe me, by the time they start the dinner you'll be fainting of hunger, eat now, live later."  Once every one had eaten, I jetted off to the beauty centre, just my luck all the hairdressers were busy, at least my nails were done, then back home to turn on the curling iron whilst I got ready, err excuse me, whilst the ENTIRE family got ready, shouts of "have you got any perfume I can borrow", "mooommmmmmm where is my tie",  "Moooommm are you done yet?", "does this go with the dress?". "where is my speech??" .. and in between the crazy there are texts and calls coming in from everyone.  An asinine text has me hitting the roof,  Ron starts  bundling me into the car before I have a full blown 'daphasode'! "comon Daphne, it's go time, SMILE SMILE SMILE "

Kids said FREESTYLE IT MUM! 

I must say it was a surreal moment seeing my son and his bride enter the venue, watching them as a unit go around and talk to guests.  My lovely daughter took over the baton and did a speech, it was succinct, to the point and full of love.  My brothers and their wives rallied around me, "well he's now hers Daph, ...wait till you become a grandma" ..(luckily they were holding me because for some strange reason I was choking )

My Son Christopher and his bride Irena

I look at my son,  flashes of memories, Chris as a baby, his happy little face when he used to wake up, first time he took a french fry from me and sucked on it as he had no teeth,  the first time he laid his head on my chest and stared into my eyes, the little Halloween costumes I sewed for him, his teenage mutant ninja turtle collection, his love for lego, his drawings, his singing, begging me to go see Linkin Park, playing spaceman in the school play to the sounds of David Bowie's Major Tom,  skateboarding with his buddies, his first girlfriend, his first heartbreak, leaving for the UK and now getting married.   The circle of life.  Powerful stuff.

I'm driving Ron back to the airport, this time he's using adjectives  which may I say are a RAINBOW in colour compared to mine, at the drivers that are all over the road, I laugh and say "now you understand!".    As the saying goes, you can't choose your relatives but you can certainly choose your friends, and I'm blessed to be surrounded with so many who love and support me.   Cheers to the bride and groom and their blessed future together.

The "M" word

So much has been spinning through my mind lately, it was hard to focus on exactly which topic I wanted to write about this week.  I realised that sometimes you do have to share some personal aspects of your life because somewhere, someone is going through the same thing and could possibly benefit from knowing they're not alone in their experience.

Lets set the scenario shall we.  I get a text from my son Christopher in the UK and he says "hey mum, you wanna Skype on Sunday?'.  Nothing out of the ordinary there as we usually speak once a month on Skype, so when we did have face time I was surprised to see his girlfriend Irena next to him on the screen.  Even more surprising was the fact that he was just staring at me after the initial hello and was keeping silent.  My youngest son Ayden who was next to me said "dude, this is getting awkward man, say something" aaanndd he did, "Mum Irena and I have decided to get married, after all we've been with each other for 6 years now and feel the time is right " he must have said more but all I could hear was "I'm getting married".   Now my son is 26, which is not an unusual age to get married, after all I got married at 25... WHICH is why I freaked out all the way from Skype, to my room,  to calling my mother up in the UK, to crying on the phone to my best friend in Australia.

father and son

Why was I freaking out?  Firstly he'd just finished his degree in Uni, had hardly been working for more than 6 months at a job he didn't particularly like whilst waiting and applying for what he was qualified for, secondly he had no assets what so ever including savings and LASTLY as I quoted to him, my marriage to his father at such a young age was a total disaster and I didn't want the same for him.  The most worrying part was that he was going to quit his job, pack up his flat and come back to Malaysia (as Irena is Malaysian) because Irena wanted a "traditional" wedding and he thought he could work here for a few months whilst all the marriage preparations was going on and wanted my blessing, (cue me clutching my chest and doing a southern belle swoon, well more like a Hobbit needing CPR if you ask me)

Back to the Skype conversation, by this time I was incoherent with anger, sadness, frustration because everything I had been hoping for, for him to work towards was thrown out of the window in a blink of an eye in a spectacular manner.  I said I did not agree to the marriage, and would not give him my blessing.. the conversation stuttered to a halt, and eventually I excused myself whilst Ayden took over (ever the diplomat to smooth things over)

To try to write about what transpired in those two months would be akin to a Latina Telenovella script.  Once Irena flew back to Malaysia, he packed up his things, went to stay with my mother for a week, and though she tried to talk some sense into him he was determined to see it through. Meantime back in the land of no smiles and political unrest, my father had been diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma and was undergoing chemo, my youngest brother whom I had not seen for 20 years was coming back to KL to see him and Christopher flew into town without informing me, which really hurt.

My best bud Ron and my brother Zaki on the right

Seeing my younger brother after so long was like a ray of sunshine, we had grown up in our teens and twenties in Hong Kong and had been close.   He had eventually settled his family in Australia and has been working offshore all this time, I have missed him so.   I took him aside at the family get together to have a quiet word with him, and he in turn had one with me.  He said "do you remember what  you were like in your twenties? and when you wanted to marry Chris's dad and how mum was totally against it? did anyone or anything stop you? think about it.  It's his life, and if it's a mistake it's his mistake to make, give him your blessing and let it go"  I mulled it over for a bit, thinking back to when I was the same age and what I was going through and feeling at the time. I laughed out loud in realisation because my mother reacted the same way as I did when I told her I was getting married!

Yup I got married against my mother's wishes !

So I wrote my eldest son, whom I love so much and had gone through so much for to have in my life, a letter from my heart to tell him in the gentlest way my concerns, to reassure him of my love for him and to give him my blessing because at the end of the day, the most important thing was his happiness.  Isn't that what all mothers want for their children?

Today I'm helping him sort out his wedding trays (in Malaysia they are called "Dulang" it holds the gifts he will present to her at their wedding ceremony),  making the door gifts for the guests, listening and discussing with him possible job opportunities, attending the food tasting for the banquet and generally any information he needs to help make his marriage and time here (as he's reassured me he's not going to "live" here) as stress free and as smooth as possible.  We've got a month and a bit more to go before the big day.

at his 21st b'day when Chris started dating Irena

The most important thing we are put on this earth, is for and to love,  and it is with love I write this (but please god let my other two kids be 350 years old before they get married!!!)   Have a great week and thank you again for reading my blog.