Better later than never!

Well well well, talk about a gap, well more like a hiatus , well actually more like a big fat blank!
Happy belated New Year Everyone, what a spectacular  new year it  has been.  I can say  officially that that it's been one year of "remission"!.   I am so grateful and filled with so much joy that I'm still here kicking it loud and proud.

Right updates, my hair's grown back!

Ok for some it's no big deal but for someone who was bald for a year IT"S bloody brilliant (can I say that ? oh yeah it's my blog so Yes!) . Thank you to my lovely friend who sorted out the curls and reshaped the shaggy mess!

Secondly, I've started paddling again with my lovely Dragon Boat Team, I attended two regattas, but unfortunately on the second one I couldn't complete my final paddle as my heart was aching from the exertion , my fellow cancer care buddies said "are you mad? it's already amazing you went back to paddle but to compete?? ", well I'm a tad competitive can't you tell...I just wanted to see how far I could push myself and the answer is push too hard and the body goes "here's some pain, deal with that and next time take it easy dudette"

I started my long walks again, but had to give it up after getting dizzy from the heat so am waiting for the weather to cool down , and yes I'm much much closer to getting my road bike so I can cycle and get my heart, lungs and quads in gear (not to mention the possibility of perhaps getting my bum back... it's still missing, hey I like some junk in my trunk ok!

We're still meeting once a week at Bloomhill Cancer Care for meditation class and a good ol catch up beforehand as the art therapy classes are still not in place. A few members have drifted off to sort out other responsibilities and extended holidays so the ebb and flow of the centre continues. Speaking of art therapy, I did a 6 week workshop with the lovely Helen Bradshaw, and it was tremendous,  I loved every moment of it and discovering so many things about myself and making some great friends along the way, what a wonderful gift.  I now get to attend the open hearted women's network once a month, the energy is awesome!

                                         Open Hearted Women's Network


 As we've become closer friendship wise at the cancer centre,   I get a load of ribbing from my friends of the opposite sex, namely the guys regarding my err social life.. ha ha ha ha.  In an attempt to get me out and about my kids pushed me to get on a dating site to "dip me toes in the pond" so to speak.  Uh... where do I start?  Lets just put it this way, when the guys asked me how one of my coffee dates went, I replied "well you gotta kiss a load of frogs before you meet your prince" . (meaning ... well you know what I mean... ) and the buggers said you mean "TOAD's Dx".. toads !  And the jokes started, with 'what happens if you see a cane toad.....'  and it just degenerated from there... the teasing I have to put up with, makes me grin.   Anyway, I've done away with all that as I just couldn't deal with the cut and dry of the uh dating sites.    As I said to my kids "well that box is ticked, done and dusted,  I did it!" Onwards and upwards

Next to find either latin or ball room classes and try the Drumming Circle , yes it's time to keep ticking off everything on the bucket list, no time like the present!  In the mean time, keep on keeping on . Hugs Dx

Down the Rabbit Hole - Dodgy Daph's Medical Adventures Pt 5

I was discharged from hospital on Friday, a faster exit the nurses haven't seen! so much so I left my computer cable behind! (luckily the nurses kept it for me!)  I thankfully went home and slept as much as I could, with this funny taste in my mouth (er hello I did brush my teeth ok) and a constant grip on my thermometer,  as I had to make sure my temperature did not go up.  After the first day back I actually went for a walk with my brother and had a little smoothie as  a treat afterwords, no smoothie  no walk.!   The smoothie helps keep my mouth cooler as it was beginning to heat up.  Having home cooked meals a blessing and being able to have family around. 

No Smoothies NO WALK!

For the first 3 days after my first treatment, I was ok, I could still go for walks , and though I was really tired and took a lot of naps (NOT NANA NAPS K!!!), I was doing pretty good, the doctors were happy the toxins were flushed out of my system and I was going through the normal after effects. 

BFF just arrived , had an appetite and was going for it!

After the 3rd day, oh my goodness!  I thought my mouth was on fire!  I could only eat ice chips or really cold watermelon, no ulcers in the mouth though. The headaches, I used peppermint oil to begin with as I was already on so much medication I was trying to give my body a break but the headaches was just a killer  My mouth felt on fire,   I tried to sleep it off as much as I could, but I was up most of the night gulping water.(how do the damn fishes do it?!!)   The next two days were awful , the headaches were so bad I started popping panadol like candy and I don’t usually self medicate but, my jaws ached and then my gums started to swell and ache.  No one prepared me for this…I lost my appetite, preferred to crunch on watermelon as it was sweet and kept my mouth cool, I said no more meat, it was too hard to digest , I’d stick to my fish and occasional chicken diet that I had stipulated. 

My brother was worried I had dropped 4 kilos very fast and that was not good , Though my best friend cooked some phenomenal food at my place and went scouring everywhere to get the freshest ingredients, I could hardly taste anyting let alone had much appetite. Believe me when I tell you fruit juice or smoothies becomes your best friends.!

They cajoled me, they stern talked me, and made me go out, even for a little while,   wallowing in my very grumpiness, I said "if I want to leave when we get there we go ok, I'm not good with a lot of people at the mo" My brother nodded his head , my bff Peggy said "surrreeee" . (they are so sneaky)

Ol Grumpy pots and Peggs

It turned out to be a beautiful day, a seaside cafe, lovely sea food , cold beers and I had the best glass of  san pellegrino  sparkling water with fat wedges of emerald green lime.  Ahhh it felt sooo good!  Fresh crisp bread, salt and pepper calamari, which were tender to the bite and oh loads of other goodies I couldn't eat but watched.( yeah and drooled.. I"m not ashamed to admit!)  Eventually the heat got to me ( I know, and a Malaysian to boot, where is the shame eh?!!) and told them to take their time and finish I'll go wait in the car. 

For the next few days everyone watched me like a hawk, trying to ensure I ate as much as I could, I had another lumbar puncture(I hate those long needles) and then another chemo out patient treatment that was a very toxic,  The Vincristine chemo dose they used is strong and aggressive, you feel the cold in your hands and though it's only half an hour treatment, they had to stop several times so I could get some feeling back in my hand.  It does affect the nerves. 

Poster Child of getting toooooo comfy in the Hospital

I guess it was another day for "captain bed".  I must say one thing though, you have to make your bed your oasis.  You're going to spend a lot of time in it so, get fav sheets, blankets you like to snuggle with, pillows you just want to sink you head into and your own personal home theatre.. believe me it helps!

I  also got my cold press juicer so was juicing the reds in the morning and the greens in afternoon. Believe me, raw food works if you can't eat it , drink it.

I vant my bloooddd . muuaahahahhaha

My brother headed off, leaving me in better frame of mind and pep talking me all the way.  It was so hard letting go of my brother, you don’t realise how much you want your family around you, I had another week to recuperate before I start B Cycle of my protocol.  

My scalped ached , and I was massaging it  a bit on Tuesday,  I had brushed it several times before tying it up but nothing major.   Wednesday though was a bit of a carnage.  I felt the texture of my hair strange so I undid my bun and brushed it out and clumps of hair came off on the brush!!!! (ok I was prepared for this, so I was kinda calm ) .. so I pondered, do I wash my hair as I’ll probably have it cut tomorrow with Annie or Lani. ( can you imagine, I'm still faffing about washing my hair???)  Because I had to go in for my CT scan that afternoon I was  not sure if I could have it cut afterwords.   So in for a penny  I went in and washed my hair, was blinking rapidly when I saw how much hair was filling up the shower drain… eeekkk, finished rinsing my hair  and put it in a towel then dried it and OMG  I had a freaking rasta dreadlock mess … every time I tried to pull more hair out of the knot more hair would fall out!  
I quickly texted Nora my sister in law and called for help as I didn’t think I could handle the total fall out, literally.!  She called back and said her hair dressers would be able to clip my hair now if I was ready, I said yes absolutely.  We went in and they started clipping my hair, Nora grabbed my hand as I was in tears, its more symbolic the hair, like the final frontier to admitting you are well and truly into the whole chemo cancer thingy. 
Anyway, the girl clipped a beautiful lotus flower onto the side and back of my head and they told me afterwords that it was compliments on the house.  Nora and I walked outside and I felt strange with small breeze blowing though my hair.  

  We went to the hospital, and had the CT scan done, the orderlies were saying I rocked the shavings on my hair, well, what was I to do, I felt strange, like my neck was too scrawny for my head.  Sent a pic to my brothers, who of course said I looked like mum.. duh At least I had a few more good days before I went in for the next cycle which I was told was harder that what I'd just been through.

Thank you for reading my blog and for being so supportive of me and of course of my buddy Annie who's set the date to cut her hair on the 15th of Dec.  Our link is https://www.gofundme.com/down-the-rabbit-hole-with-daphne .  It would be great if you could support us, Annie will also go on radio and will be on "My Weekly Preview" mag to promote her hair auction and cut (we're still arguing as to how short she'll go!)

The New Me

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Winging it

My good friend and tormentor, Nora has flown back in from that hell hole of a country she's been seconded to, for a few days of non stop mindless meetings here, and has decided that instead of being civilised and go out for drinks at a reasonable hour, she wants to do so NOW, now being 12.30 am. Well she's driven, that I'll admit!

I told her to go home, and that I was in bed and I'd see her tomorrow ... 'biaotch' .. is the response I get from her via sms. Charming as always I think, it seems the closer your friends are, the ruder the name calling heh heh! I send her a rude remark in reply and she calls me up,

"I'm coming over now to pick you up and we're going out" she growls at me.
"forget it mate, I'm not going anywhere at the time of night" I growl back (we growl very well as both of us have very low voices)
" Listen D, you're the one person I always make sure I see when I come back and I'm not sure how much time I'll have in the next few days and so we're going" she says
"Then make the time tomorrow you twat !" I respond, a load of expletives ensue from the other side of the phone.. even more charming I think ( I do love her to bits and this is our usual way of hostile negotiations!)

Ten minutes later she storms into my home, hurls some not so motherly advise to my eldest who lets admit it, is a rebellious adult, for want of a more polite way of explaining the late teen years.. oh yeah.. you all know the feeling. She rapid fire goes through all the things he's done in the last couple of months since she's seen him, presses some money into his hand to go get a hair cut (what an incentive eh...) and then literally frog marches me out the front door and bundles me into her SUV and says "drive!" (like I said... hostile negotiations!)

I hoist myself into the drivers seat, she pumps up the volume in the ahh.. not so pimp mobile, and says "lets go karaoke!" (don't you all start groaning ok!.. we LOVE to Karaoke! and we're not afraid to admit it!)
"Nora, it's almost 1 a.m, and everything will be shut around here", I remark, as she starts to give me instructions to go into town.
" Ok Ok" she concedes, "lets go to the burbs and see if the pub is open, should have live gigs there."
I u-turn the wanna be Dr Dre truck and we hip hop it till we arrive at the Pub. She finally notices I've cut my hair... "um it's cool, but I still prefer your long hair.." she says with her usual brand of honesty. "Thanks buddy, I still like your poofy hair too... " I grin at her, She gives me a dirty look and calls me another name, smiles and we head in to the Pub.

The Pub is on it's last call for drinks, we manage to get a round and head for the pool tables, I'm totally a spaz when it comes to Pool, unlike Nora, who loves to compete and pretend she's a Pool shark... my friends.. what can I say.

When she's finally had enough of playing Pool, (I think it's more enough of playing against me... I'm so utterly ka ka at the game!) we hunker down and catch up, I tell her I'm going to Australia to go have a "working vacation" .
"What the heck is that D" she asks me
"Well Stash wants me to come down and have a look at some possible business ventures with her and to look around the area she's in as a possible place to move to" I explain
"Ah.. OK.. I still think you'll end up in NZ.   She stands up, grabs me in a hug and says "c'mon lets go eat... I so miss the food here".

We have a pleasant supper, I outline my plans for the next few months, Nora is relieved I'm back to work and getting it together, she's always been there even if it's to shout at me about the "realities" of life. Sometimes you do need to be checked, even better if it's by someone you admire and one who has a good head on her shoulders. She benevolently loads me off at home, and with a cheeky grin , bids me goodnight. I never know when I'm going to see her again, it could be tomorrow or the next few months, but it's always good to catch up with her no matter how little or much time we have, good friends know the difference between quality time and quantity time, and the cow made me think of NZ again... bugger.
Dx

O X doo

Ahh the Bash on Friday.. welll ... sigh.. I think there was definitely very much of too muchness if you know what I mean! You don't? Ok well here goes...

I had three men with me, Carl, Ian my gay friend whom I asked first and his partner Rick (Rick is a very colonial Englishman.. who happens to know my dad.. imagine a very plummy voice, velvet dinner jacket and that's Rick).

The hosts really threw on a show for the party, they had dancers decked out in glittery outfits and feathers dancing on stage in the theme colour of the party which was.. uh.. PINK AND BLACK.., they had the Emcee's (whom were both former Miss Malaysia's .. ah.. well the recent ones...heh) get driven to the stage on two massive Harley's. They had men on stilts walking around and entertaining the guests, they had two stages on either side of the ballroom with bands playing and flanked on either sides of the walls were different food stations for the guests. So there was a vast variety of food. Champagne was in your face as well as some of the people.

Of course walking in with Carl, caused a stir, a good looking actor with cheek bones so sharp you could cut glass on them, a cheeky smile and roving eyes that got tongues a wagging, some old gossips came up to us and said, "is this your boyfriend?" I look to Carl with an amused smile (we were actually very good friends, and have been from the first time we met which was on a shoot I had booked him for, a few years back ) and say,
" Are you my boyfriend?" and Carl, who's eyes have stopped roving and were now locked and loaded on an exotic asian actress behind old trout face who posed the question, just says "yess.." (he goes into acting mode when not paying attention) and the gossips go all twittery and do the 'oh how wonderful' bit as I look at Carl and hiss
"why the hell did you say that..?"
He's Like "What? What?.. "I didn't hear you?"
I said,"yeah I know, cause you've just said you're my boyfriend and that's going spread faster than a bush fire in OZ mate...." geezzz.

The night carries on, I catch up with my old radio colleague , we're cackling away, watching in amusement as Carl flits about, comes back and forth, for a drink and a taste of the food. Singers, composers , you name it, all the industry people are there, I end up at the island bar in the ballroom with Ian, Carl and lan's girl pal Jacqs.

Carl and I are having a conversation about our future and where we're heading as he props himself at the bar and I lean on him , I'm telling him about my intention to go to NZ and he's asking me why, (geezz everyone does, it's always WHY NZ? why not OZ?) so I'm explaining,
when he says, "well D, I'm Australian, you can always marry me, the process takes a year and it will help you get into NZ without a hitch"
I'm looking at Carl.. "seriously mate....."
and he's like " no, I mean it, I can help... plus you're easy on the eye.. we'd have fun together." I roll my eyes, however, as we're having this discussion, Rick, who's been evesdripping, gets the wrong end of the stick because he hears the "Marry me" bit and all gaydom breaks loose..

Just imagine me standing in a black cocktail dress, glass of champers in hand, Carl sitting on a bar stool, talking to me and Rick leaning over to Carl and running his hands through Carl's hair and saying "ARE YOU SURE YOU"RE NOT GAY??? because I think you are, and I need to know these things if you're going to marry D, as I know D's dad very well.. you have no idea who he is... " Carl looks at me, I'm grinning and I think payback time!! Rick's all ready to speed dial Dad up, Ian at this point is muttering in my ear ... ( "says he the one night stand that never left!" ) I cover my mouth as I choke down the laughter!  I watch Carl act his way out of this little pickle!... he's good... very good... but that doesn't mean he's off the hook!

Ian has had enough and says "come on, come back to my place we can drink there and have a chat." So that is what we did, and after Carl and Jacqui left , I stayed on and chatted into the wee hours of the morning with Ian about matters of the heart, mind and soul. If only he was straight, I'd marry him in a heart beat... now how many times have you heard a straight woman say that about a gay man??? ... thought so...
... Dx