Win some you lose some

Well I had invested in AggeroInvestment, Instant2U, Maxshare and Megasurf world. Out of these four I will say the ones that do pay out are AggeroInvestment and Max share. They also keep in touch with you regularly and will always respond to any queries. I'm about to go into my second cycle and I'll be adding in DailyProfitPond into it as well as GoldNuggetInvest, as they both have solid and stable reputations.
As for my SpiderwebSystem, I've yet to see anything from it, but with all businesses one has to work at it for a while before the results are seen, lets hope they will be seen soon!
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year!
Dx
http://www.goldnuggetinvest.com?ref=1771

O X doo

Ahh the Bash on Friday.. welll ... sigh.. I think there was definitely very much of too muchness if you know what I mean! You don't? Ok well here goes...

I had three men with me, Carl, Ian my gay friend whom I asked first and his partner Rick (Rick is a very colonial Englishman.. who happens to know my dad.. imagine a very plummy voice, velvet dinner jacket and that's Rick).

The hosts really threw on a show for the party, they had dancers decked out in glittery outfits and feathers dancing on stage in the theme colour of the party which was.. uh.. PINK AND BLACK.., they had the Emcee's (whom were both former Miss Malaysia's .. ah.. well the recent ones...heh) get driven to the stage on two massive Harley's. They had men on stilts walking around and entertaining the guests, they had two stages on either side of the ballroom with bands playing and flanked on either sides of the walls were different food stations for the guests. So there was a vast variety of food. Champagne was in your face as well as some of the people.

Of course walking in with Carl, caused a stir, a good looking actor with cheek bones so sharp you could cut glass on them, a cheeky smile and roving eyes that got tongues a wagging, some old gossips came up to us and said, "is this your boyfriend?" I look to Carl with an amused smile (we were actually very good friends, and have been from the first time we met which was on a shoot I had booked him for, a few years back ) and say,
" Are you my boyfriend?" and Carl, who's eyes have stopped roving and were now locked and loaded on an exotic asian actress behind old trout face who posed the question, just says "yess.." (he goes into acting mode when not paying attention) and the gossips go all twittery and do the 'oh how wonderful' bit as I look at Carl and hiss
"why the hell did you say that..?"
He's Like "What? What?.. "I didn't hear you?"
I said,"yeah I know, cause you've just said you're my boyfriend and that's going spread faster than a bush fire in OZ mate...." geezzz.

The night carries on, I catch up with my old radio colleague , we're cackling away, watching in amusement as Carl flits about, comes back and forth, for a drink and a taste of the food. Singers, composers , you name it, all the industry people are there, I end up at the island bar in the ballroom with Ian, Carl and lan's girl pal Jacqs.

Carl and I are having a conversation about our future and where we're heading as he props himself at the bar and I lean on him , I'm telling him about my intention to go to NZ and he's asking me why, (geezz everyone does, it's always WHY NZ? why not OZ?) so I'm explaining,
when he says, "well D, I'm Australian, you can always marry me, the process takes a year and it will help you get into NZ without a hitch"
I'm looking at Carl.. "seriously mate....."
and he's like " no, I mean it, I can help... plus you're easy on the eye.. we'd have fun together." I roll my eyes, however, as we're having this discussion, Rick, who's been evesdripping, gets the wrong end of the stick because he hears the "Marry me" bit and all gaydom breaks loose..

Just imagine me standing in a black cocktail dress, glass of champers in hand, Carl sitting on a bar stool, talking to me and Rick leaning over to Carl and running his hands through Carl's hair and saying "ARE YOU SURE YOU"RE NOT GAY??? because I think you are, and I need to know these things if you're going to marry D, as I know D's dad very well.. you have no idea who he is... " Carl looks at me, I'm grinning and I think payback time!! Rick's all ready to speed dial Dad up, Ian at this point is muttering in my ear ... ( "says he the one night stand that never left!" ) I cover my mouth as I choke down the laughter!  I watch Carl act his way out of this little pickle!... he's good... very good... but that doesn't mean he's off the hook!

Ian has had enough and says "come on, come back to my place we can drink there and have a chat." So that is what we did, and after Carl and Jacqui left , I stayed on and chatted into the wee hours of the morning with Ian about matters of the heart, mind and soul. If only he was straight, I'd marry him in a heart beat... now how many times have you heard a straight woman say that about a gay man??? ... thought so...
... Dx

I do this for you my friend

To say that I have a small hangover would be quite an understatement... who needs to do damage with wine in France when one can do it here very easily...aspirins I love you, you are my bestest friends.. hic.. ooppss..
Well I knew my FORMER best friend Gina would bunk out on me last night. Since Louis is in Italy, one would think she'd be partying like before, but no..

So I rock into the Hilton hotel and the valet tells me the doo is on the 6th floor in the ballroom .. I'm double checking OK, as I'm on my own, don't want to walk into someones wedding and have to sit with some strange folk eating some exotic 6 course meal just to be polite!
Anyway I head up and get stuck in the lift with not one .. oh no.. that would have been too kind, but about 8 very very and very (did I say very?) smelly sweaty people, even my perfume couldn't overpower the reek of b.o.(what is it with the no showering after walking around in the heat and sweating like a horse deal?) They're  asking me "omm were is der pardy?" "we would like to come as well" .. I'm doing a Mr bean impersonation in the lift and looking at the numbers on the panel holding my breath, trying not to look like I understand engrrisshh!

Phew! I think as the lift doors open, I step out and flee!  I try to saunter in to the function room gracefully, I'm wearing a bright fuchsia dress with soft pink flowers on it and beading, it's cut pretty ... well.. low.. so I've got to stand straight.. in case .. you know what( overexposed cleavage .. not a pretty sight) .. anyway..So I'm sauntering in and girls at the reception table are looking at me with those polite glazed over looks
"and you are?" asks the petite door girl
Deep breath, very low voice " I'm D x "..
"oh".. quick scurrying.. and I get tagged.. with a paper band around my wrist that says VIP.. what? what? viper in progress? very iggy pop??

So I head to the entrance and the photographer is clicking away at a couple and I'm told to wait.  You know when you do that one two step to try to move forward and you have to step back coz of on coming traffic?? That was me and I wasn't line dancing!  So anyway photographer finishes and I'm about to step in and she 's looking at me with this question mark on her face. I put her out of her misery "it's OK, no need for pics, I'm on my own, I'll just go straight in .." jeez... ya think being single is akin to being a leper nowdays!

I slowly walk through looking for my old class mate who was the co organiser of this event. What a former hot shot Lawyer who was also titled , is doing in Events now is totally beyond me, but I'm sure I'll get an explanation eventually.
There is no one I recognise, I keep on walking till I get to the bar at the end of the room and at the last island table is Wanda, an editor of a new and upcoming magazine, she's standing there with her girlfriend and giving me a cheesy grin. "Hey!" "Where HAVE you been?" Wanda was one of the regulars at Bar Blond when I used to go there for drinks with the girls or for the Blond Idol nights. I air kiss her cheeks and say " I've given up going out for lent" She introduces me to her girlfriend, I notice they're both wearing the same necklaces.. how cute..

I turn to get a drink off the waiter's tray and Stephan rolls up to me with his usual cheeky smile. Stephan is a journalist as well, whom I've known since my radio days, he used to write articles about us when we were in the biz.. "D, since you're in the line of work and all that, do you have any MTV post party passes?"
"Pardon?" I say
"post party passes? " he says again. (Try saying post party passes really fast 10 times..)
........
I look at Steven and say "why would you think I'd have any and , who'd want to go?"
"I would" Stephan says..
Sigh, he's still so Billboard's Hot 10 Hits. Anyway, it's the usual move and schmooze, and I'm standing at the table thinking,if it wasn't for my ol school chum, I'd be at home, online to Ana, having a cackle. I'm supposed to have given up smoking but I really need a fag now and I'm talking the smoking kind.. .  Wanda goes off with her girl friend and says she'll be back, and for me to not go inside the main ball room without her.   OooK. I'm the rock that everyone clings too today...
Stephan says he'll be back in a sec, he's decided to hang around me tonight as I'm on my own... repeat line.. I'm the rock they everyone is clinging to today...

The moment they step away, a load of Singaporeans come up to the table I'm standing at, I mean out of the dozens of tables around the foyer of the ballroom, WHY my table?? And have you noticed how utterly utterly DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE the Singaporean accent is? (I have nothing against them.. realllyyyyy  *innocent look*)   AND boy are they LOUD!! after talking over me and around me one of them says, "sorry ah, if we're a bit loud" Well , not one to mince with my words, I say " Yes , a BIT loud" sarcastically.   I think he gets miffed at the "ice out" from me and steps away. . I text Stephan and say "get your butt back here, I will not deal with dickheads alone"

He's back in 2 mins and says "c'mon lets schmooze around," it's amazing the things one sees when one is out. Who's going out with whom, who's having an affair with whom, who's got TERRIBLE taste in clothes, who wears TOO little.( why do we waste so much time doing all this?? aAgood DVD at home would have been so much more pleasant  or throwing peanuts at the tv whilst watching the Kardashians!) I'm grinning away and doing the "hello dahhhlinkk, how are youuuu," bit and finally spot my ol school chum, she's got a walkie talkie in one hand, a pda in the other and a frown on her forehead.
"HEY! " "WOMAN"! I shout at her, her eyes open wide and she grins at me and mouths "I'll be with you in a sec!"

The main doors open for the show, you got your usual gyrating girls in little wee shorts and boob tubes with lit torches and what not.  Yeah, yeah I'm thinking, whoopdee doo, and start heading to the island table closest to the bar with Stephan and Wanda, who've found me along the way, and park myself there for the rest of the night, well for the next hour and half anyway.

While the show is going on, I'm getting texts from Sam who is Gina's golfing buddy
" Oi D, get your fat ass down here, we've got drinks at the bar" He's at Zee bar one floor down with James who's also a golfing buddy but also Gina's and my lawyer.
I text back " Is Gina there?"
Sam replies " Louis calling her house phone to check on her eh"
which means NO! he he he, ah women... what can I say.

People are coming up to greet me, I think I must have used most of my tube of lip gloss from all the cheeks I kissed, some man of unknown origins walks past me and says "you must go and thank your parents for your features... " HUH? what was that all about? My butt gets patted and I turn around and it's Jingles, a musician friend of mine from London, his lovely black hair in tiny plats,
"oi oi", I say,
"D, corr you look gorgeous luv, where's Gina? "
I say "At home in bed man, she's getting lazy about going out"
He says "yeah, did she tell you I bumped into her and her man"
we both roll our eyes and he dashes off to play the next set on stage.

My old school chum comes over eventually, as she was the only reason I came to this do, and introduced me to her husband, and family members and then dragged over some other old school chums and there was much hugging and squeals of delight and catching up going on ( I was in an all girls school prior to leaving my country)

I realised it was time to go when one of the ministers with his very 'horrible head rug' was standing very close by.   I was eventually introduced to him " Yes yes he says, "we've met many times, but I'm afraid to come and say hello with all your boyfriends around" and holds his hands up and pretends to tremble. " Oh ha ha ha" I laugh politely, and pinch my girlfriend for introducing him, yes I've met him twice before, under official circumstances, in his office, and NOT at social gatherings..
I turn to Stephan to tell him I'm going, and he says "relax D, stay just a little longer please, the music is getting good" Stephen has, for most of the night, been trying to find some girl I introduced him to, whom he has endearingly referred to as "the big kajongas girl" I can't remember who she is. and in between his search he's been bopping around me! Sigh, "OK" just a bit, as I have to go downstairs to meet some friends"

More of my girlfriends are standing around me, and as I look around to catch a waiter when I lock eyes with this very cute Chinese guy, who grins at me, umm.. I smile back... OK.. I always get confused when Chinese guys do this to me as I always think I must be the last person in the world they'd be attracted to, as my features are the polar opposite of theirs. I get my drink, more introductions, clinking of glasses and as I look up,  cute oriental guy is looking at me from his table, he's got a lovely Armani suit on, open crisp cotton white shirt and obviously weight lifts.  He still smiling at me, I'm intrigued, then he , get this, he crooks his finger at me to beckon me over! I turn around grab my bag, say goodbye to all at the table, tell them to say goodbye to Stephan as he's off again, and zoom out of the ballroom quick to Zee bar.
HE HE HE escape! I mean, hello, crook your finger at ME???? uh huh.my mother taught my brothers more manners than that thank goodness..

I head in to Zee bar looking for the culprits who sent me such rude texts,  and find Sam and James at the usual corner of the bar we stand at,  they are with two really cute bubbly girls.  James asks me what I want to drink, and I say water, he looks at me and says "D, I said a DRINK!!"
Ok ok, I tell him red wine, I get both, water and red wine, I drink the water down as I've got to drive home and don't want to be tiddled driving.

Sam's got some friends at the bar as well, one of them has got Sam's shirt sleeve stuffed in his mouth as he's staring at me, James looks at him, rolls his eyes and says to me, "here D, let me introduce you to Ben" I laugh and say hello, and then James introduced me to the rest of them, they turn out to be the devil incarnate, as I'm trying to sober up they're trying to get me more drinks! We're all giggling about Gina and her self imposed exile from the club. The guys are dancing with their girlies on the dance floor, then they're swinging me around on the dance floor, and after the second glass of wine that has been pressed into my hand, James says 'c'mon lets go", as it's getting late and some guys are paying me unwanted attention. I get home in one piece, James calls to check if I've made in back OK, and I crash out thinking I always have a much better time with my mates just having a few and a laugh, now I know why I don't want to go out to rara doos anymore.. IT"S TIRING!!! Dx

France Final

Sigh... My last bottle of red from the Luberon valley, my last dinner in France, .. everytime I think of having to get on those planes to go back I start to feel nervous.. but Malaysia is calling.. I have to go back, have to face my life there. I've had a tremendous time, more than I had expected..
the Italian interior gardens are very similar to balinese and thai houses, all you see are cement facades and big wooden carved doors, but once the doors are open it's like eden inside.. they really know how to landscape their bit of earth. give me a beautiful house of wood and glass by the beach, with drift wood pieces and I'll be happy or a ranch style house nestled in a lush valley with aztec carpets and throws on big overstuffed couches with terracotta floors on the verandah and varnished wood flooring inside...
Downloading all my songs that Ana likes on to her pen drive (once a DJ.. etc)

France fourth impressin

I said to Ana, it's weird today I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach as we were driving into Aix, she said she felt like I was looking at everything for the first time with my eyes wide open. And you know what.. I am, I've finally realised who I am, what I want and where I am heading and that with the strength in me that I've come to understand I know I'm going to start really jetting ahead with my life.

I finally closed all the chapters in my life that were holding me back and I'm so excited about what the future holds, if any of this can make sense at all to you. I guess being away from all my normal daily troubles and stresses has made me see clearly from afar. So hello world, I'm back. (you must think I'm right nut!)

The Mistral blew it's icy wind upon us yesterday, making us feel chilled to the bone but did not deter us from zipping around and checking out the villages around the Luberon. I do like the country , it's peaceful and moves at it's own pace. I told Ana I have to go back to NZ to see it again, to see how I feel, if it still captivates me like it did a couple of years ago, and then I'l make my final decision... When you decide to do something and start the wheel turning everything seems to fall into place.
Two more days to enjoy total freedom, here's looking at ya. Sante DX

France third impression

After walking the dogs (Ana has two) for an hour along the small french roads which meandered around some vinyards, we came back and flaked out, it's so damn hot! Popped off after two to go into town and have a coffee and do even more shopping.. not me, Ana, I just got this lovely charm bracelet with little angles of Puyvert dangling sweetly from it. We have to time ourselves because like Spain the shops close till 3 in the afternoon! Oh what is a shopaholic to do!

We went a little mad at the butchers as I opened my big mouth and said I felt like sausages, (yes yes I know I don't look like one... arghhh old joke!) so we've got one of each! god knows how two women are going to plough through it all! The question is whether I have the energy to bbq them tonight or will just saute them in olive oil, which is abundant in this place, there are olive trees everywhere!

I'll be sadly leaving France on the 16th, Ana is determined to make me change my mind about moving to NZ and to France instead, she's already started to ply me with links for residency applications! he he he...

Am having my first glass of rose as I'm typing this, and hoping yet again that my jet lag won't get the best of me, I mean I do enjoy sitting out on the patio looking at the stars at 4 am, but it's hell on the energy levels. My mother called me from the Uk and told me I was pathetic for having my lag this long.. my mum is one tough bird.

as you can see from the pic well past the blurry bits.. we did the sausages! Dx

France second impression

I've just come back from yet another lovely chilled out lunch in Lourmarin, which is the village we're staying in, lovely pretty little restaurant on top of those old buildings, it has romantic red and white curtains hanging to give everyone some form of privacy, creeping vines with black berries snaking across the top of the trellis, soft music being piped in and loungy benches with thick fat cushions to sit on, we needed the hair of the dog today after last night's over the top drinking session due to the departure of another friend who had been visiting as well, and surprisingly they made really tasty bloody Marys!

The rose wines here are the speciality of the region, I normally am not a big rose fan, but I must say they are very very good, turning into a lush? why I do NOT beg to differ!

Hmm one does assume that the french are an arrogant bunch, but I've noticed here how polite they are. When you get into a lift they say bonjour, when you get out they say, Au revoir, when you go to cafe to order it always hello, thank you and have a good day when you leave, I was told that they are more receptive to foreigners when you attempt to speak in French to them first.. a point that has been proven , I tried.. heh heh . jusqu'à la prochaine fois
Dx

France first impression

I'm in France baby! Wow what an incredible place. So dreamy, so romantic, so FRENCH! he he!

The french though, whom one presumes are arrogant are actually very polite people. I'm staying with my dearest friend is in Aix en Provence in the south, and it's HOT!! I've brought too much winter gear, thank god I had also brought some light stuff as I've been sweating it out.. (ok ok we glisten we don't sweat!)

Ana has a pool and we've been hanging out by it for the last couple of days, lazing away, watching the dogs sniff around the herb plants, lavender growing wildly around the garden, the smell of thyme wafts through the air, butterflies drifting from the pine trees, the cones spread out as if magically arranged. "Ddddd... " she croons to me. "yeah?" I say. "vino?" she inquires. "um.. why not" I say, she was right about the Rose wines from this region, they are absoluely scrumptious.

I trundle into her cute French cottage that she's just bought, and get the glasses and a bottle of Wine, I'm having a quiet chuckle to myself as the wine is also organic.. heh heh! We had hit the grocery store earlier on and stocked up on wines, cheeses, cold cuts, and olives.. mmmm the olives were just so delicious. I meander back to the pool the dogs trotting around me, they look as if they are smiling, and who could deny that expression, what was there not to smile about.

I was going through a bit of jet lag, and was waking up in the wee hours of the morning. This morning at 4 am, it was still dark , and rather than disturb Ana, I walked out quietly onto the patio and sat under a sky full of very bright stars, with a cool breeze gently playing around me. I looked at the distant Mountains from where we are in Puyvert. I was playing some of my music from my lap top quietly and I thought what an extraordinary day, so beautiful, so peaceful.

Yesterday I was in Aix and had a walk around the little town, the people are very friendly, it's got beautiful old cobblestone streets winding in and out of these pink/sandy stone buildings, with those typically french cafe's that we sat in to have a cafe creme, and had lunch near one of their many fountains, the food was manifique. I was enchanted by the way the french women spoke with their hands, and the many different ways they shrug to express themselves.

I hoping to go see an art exhibition in a cave,sounds interesting. Tomorrow I shall go to one of the markets, am really looking forward to it.....

The return of the mac

Has it really been since July that I've not posted a blog? Wow.. Have I been distracted or what? (what do you mean or what?) Ok lets bring this up to speed, as the posts are going to look like they're allover the the place once I start with all the stories I've been hiding in my little lappie..(lap top to those of you who aren't quite sure).
Right, I've been to France and back, I've had my final last ditch, no holds barred, lets do this properly, we're going to see if we have a future together with A..... and it was a total nose dive into "uh huh I should have SO not gone there", but it did make me realise a few things, one of them being that I was a lot stronger that I thought, that I can take the knocks and dust myself off and try again.

I loved France it was a perfect experience, and opened my heart and mind and said "what ever happens I'll just go with the flow". The French men sure have perfected flirting into an art form... if you want an ego boost, that's the place to go!
Coming back was a physical and mental let down, I thought perhaps because I needed to get away that I'd be back and life would go on with less stress, but Nooo, I've realised that it really is time to go, face the big blue yonder and just do it.

The end of the year is here, so many changes are brewing, I can feel and smell it in the air, much is afoot. I am excited, scared, curious, happy but most importantly grateful for this extraordinary life I lead. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!
Oooo heh heh, I can't hardly wait!
Dx

Was That IT ?

As usual when the girls get together and start talking, the talk turns to things which should not be heard by men, and sometimes we're upset enough to say some of these things to them! Should be taken lightly with a sprinkling of sugar! x
Dx

I'm still THINKING!

I was sitting with some of my girlfriends in our favorite Jazz Club, and some guy was texting me and as I was not responding to the textes, my friends asked me what was up? I said I just don't know how to answer to this , I need to calm myself down as his textes are upsetting me! So one of them said, just say "I'm still thinking!" which made me laugh and say , absolutely! spot on chicka!
Dx

Bling It On!

I went to France recently to go visit my good friend Ana, and while we were discussing my travel plans, I asked her what I should bring along with me to wear. She told me that the weather would be still pretty warm and to bring strappy tops and tanks. I said I'd bring some of my bling bling tops along (as a joke) and she said "Daph, I have to live here.." and I replied "Bling It On!!"
I actually did bring a few of my blingy t's with me to her lovely village in the south of France, and giggled myself silly when we walked through the village with me wearing them, however I know she didn't expect any less of me!
Viva La France !
Dx

Weekend Warrior

It seems to me that instead of gearing down over the weekends and chilling out as we should, a lot of us tend to do what we have not been able to over the week, or have agreed to do things we really wished we had not! The figurative use refers to a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness, as in athletics or politics! Here's to us who've survived the mad shopping, relatives or whatever else that we have to go through the weekend!
Dx

Once Bitten Chew Slowly...

The slogan on my first Front 2 Back t-shirt came about when I was having a moan with Ana one day about how we deal with things, and the adage "one bitten twice shy" was bandied around, I said well it's actually "Once bitten, Chew Slowly".. Ana as usual laughed as she knew exactly what I meant, and no get yer minds out of the gutter, I meant, take the experience of being bitten once and ponder on it, use it as a lesson, good or bad.
Dx

The begginings of Daphs Caf'

Well this is the second blog site I've started, the first one is too personal I think as this one will be predominantly for ideas and how I came about them, plus online surfing for profit. Whee heyy here we go!
Dx

Slowly coming back

Woke up today pretty early in the morning, god knows why as it's the weekend and I usually want to lie in as any normal sane person would... However , something had to disturb my slumber. Mind out of the gutter please, it was noise, specifically children squabbling. They must have gotten pretty scared when I wrenched my door open and glared at them.. horrible mum that I am.. and gave them the evil eye. Through gritted teeth, I gave them a few stern words in my best and lowest growl. However a few minutes later the noise level was maxed up again. I'm obviously not as scary as I think I am!

Well I had a lovely evening the night before, I had gone to a Jacuzzi party, and before anyone starts to make salacious remarks, it was completely above board OK. I was invited over for a BBQ. The pool and jacuzzi are part and parcel of most condos. We were invited to hang out in the jacuzzi after appertisers, much to my consternation , as I most assuredly did not want anyone to see my ah.. one pack, but I was outvoted and all eight of us had to do with what we had. My dinner partner for the night had earlier texted me and said, "Now I only have 6 hours to get fit and acquire a six pax...hah!"

It was a lovely balmy night and the water was just right. Being in the water relaxed everyone and put all of us in great spirits. I thought to myself as I was floating along in the jacuzzi (it was a fairly large one) this is the most relaxed I've felt in ages, and lets face it, I've been pretty stressed out.

It's amazing what a few little words of encouragement and well wishes do to your mindset, I find that I'm in a happy mood today, even with the lack of sleep, more focused on what I need to do and can do. I've made some positive steps towards realizing my dreams and goals and that gives me the biggest buzz.

Ayurvedic

I finally dragged my butt down to the Ayurvedic centre on James' advice and got treated for the cough, and a whole host of other things I didn't realise were part of the symptoms (insanity was not one of them.. yet). After a two weeks course of the most disgusting medicine I had to drink, I really was not looking forward to more 'poo juice', as a friend of mine put it to me bluntly.

When I came back from my trip to Sarawak, I went back for more torture on the taste buds, which I needed like a hole in the head. I'd been playing host and driver and shopping partner and, and, and the list is endless, to my mother who had come down for a 3 week visit. Now I can hear the groans, but honestly I was happy she came down,.. really... no really! No kidding! I needed someone to take care of me, and who better then your own mum. The clucking, nagging, questioning was nothing compared to the favourite meals cooked, and cups of tea in bed.

However I laughed out loud when I came home one night and she was waiting up for me! I hadn't had that treatment for a long time and it brought back so many memories! It was sweet of her, waiting for her adult daughter in the wee hours of the morning! made me feel 16 again!

Ok ok so she did push me a little to go back to the ayurvedic centre before she left.. (.how do they manage to make you feel like a 10 year old again?....)

So anyways I've gone back to the centre and I am on a 21 day course of oil massages, baths and rice scrub... nothing to complain about... and the medicine isn't too yucky....the oil in the nose and ears a bit freaky, but anything in the name of detoxifying. The after effect is that you feel really tired, and tend to fall asleep early in the day. Trying to answer e mails is an effort, hell thinking of answering the e mails is tiring! The fact that I'm writing is somewhat of a mini miracle zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............hmmffnn....zz... snork.........

Borneo Bliss

I'm sitting on the verandah of James house in Borneo, it's so peaceful, the sound of his indoor water feature is filtering through the house, the gentle breeze is kissing my face and lifting tendrils of my hair, I can see the mountains in the distance capped by the fluffy white clouds. Sigh, I wish every day could be as it is today. Dx

Hey man that's my bag

'What did you say to him?!' I asked my best mate Kina?  'nothing' came the very calm reply. 'Well he's pouring his heart out  on the phone!' I said, looking at her.  She very calmly tapped the ash of her cig and gave me that famous shrug that her entire family use.  Sigh, and he's still on the phone as I'm quizzing her.

I hang up and look at Kina, who's giving me that enigmatic smile, 'Tell me' I say to her.  'No, I can't I promised him.' she says to me.  'Look, who's best friend are you, .. tell me!'  She smiles at me and says ' you haven't touched your drink mate, c'mon chin chin' . Diversion tactics, so I let it go.

I had come over to catch up with Kina to tell her all about me little misadventures while she was living la Vida loca in Phuket with her man for the week, some people just have to have a good life eh.  First thing she says is 'don't I look black? I've been sunbathing every day'  .. sigh, 'no you don't Kina, unlike Kira who looked like a dark choc mousse when she came back from Bali, you look very brown'  She wrinkles her nose at me.

I had a particularly horrid week, my bag had been stolen, and my cough was still giving me grief, it's like the cough said, 'oi, you, we're here squatting in yer lungs, and we ain't budging.. so nah'.  Apart from having to deal with security, from the mall that I was in when the bag was taken, I also had to deal with the po po aka police.  Which is always a walk through the tulips, not. James daughter was with me at the time, and she was flabbergasted at the relentless inquisition of my race, nationality, parentage, lineage, looks.... I looked at Mel and said, 'it's ok, don't get wound up, it's normal, every single government body does this to me, I have to grin and bear it to get through it all , otherwise I'd be the one incarcerated !   Tell me what has my name and the way I look got anything to do with a police report on the theft of my bag?  Does it make a difference to how they prioritise it?  Can you just imagine the scene? '

Chief Officer - Ello ello, and what seems to be the problem Sargent?'  

Sargent -  'lady had her bag stolen sir

C.O. - 'Fair enough, fair enough, and what is the lady's name in question and what does she look like?'

Sargent - ' Well that's the whole point sir, not a normal name , so one would presume of another race, than the one that is normal in this part of the world, and due to that and to the distinct difference in colour and facial features, I'd say she's definitely of mixed origins and not, one of us sir.'

C.O. - 'aaaahhhh we have ourselves a hybrid then do we Sargent, well then how long did you keep her at the station for questioning?'

Sargent - 'for as long as I possibly could sir, and until I got her to explain her lineage and name'

C.O. - 'well done Sargent, good bit of detective work... and what did she come in for?....'

Geezzz, anyway, I finally got back to the mall, and had to be taken home by James to get my spare set of keys as my car keys were in my bag along with my house keys.  Can you imagine what a pain in the A.. all this was ???  Imagine watching paint dry... or better still going down to the police station. .... HAH!

James takes me home and keeps going on about how he needs his passport to go to my neck of the woods, really, people have no idea!  Anyhow, after terrorising my household, James brings me back to the mall or should I say to the scene of the crime, ooo bit CSI'ish eh, and then insists on me having a stiff drink (oi oi, hang on with those trashy thoughts) so he plies me with whiskey water, as that is what he thinks I should be drinking under the circumstances...and eventually after a few... well a lot.. he says I can go home and think evil thoughts on the b.....ds who stole my bag.

Needless to say DC called several times during the day, but I had had enough and really didn't want to talk to anyone,  I think sulking is a solitary hobby, which should be done in the comfort of one's home without any interruptions thank you. 

The next day I get a phone call from the po po, some good Samaritan found the stuff from my bag on the side of a road and brought it in.  The police officer in charge is trying to be funny with me.. literally. I asked him if he had called me in to the station and he said "no' with a very straight face, and when he saw how stricken I looked, he smiled and said he was just kidding and yes he had called and handed me over a plastic bag which was filled with the contents of my stolen bag, needless to say my wallet and the actual bag were gone, but everything else was there. Thank goodness for little mercies! So I overlook the police officer's strange attempt at humour and bugger off right quick

Sometimes human beings aren't half bad...Dx

Well Well

So here I am trying to get ready, I've got a date to go to, for the first time in months,  and DC is calling, really great timing on his behalf.    My son is calling me to the house phone when I refuse to answer my hand phone, and I'm thinking, well it just has to be today innit?

I make it to the restaurant (just about after clunking down the phone and giving the F1 a run for their money) We had agreed on meeting somewhere we both knew, and could have drinks at upstairs later on. I walk in to the restaurant downstairs and my date's not there, the waiter gets me a table close to the huge french windows that looks out into the street which is humming with life.  I order myself a glass of red and look around.

Two minutes later, the waiter shows a family of three to the table in front of me, a western man, his oriental wife (well I presume she's his wife) and their cute child, mixes always make  very cute kids.   I'm thinking to myself, *perfect, a family next to me on my first date*  .   The father/husband whom I shall call Mr.A looks up and stares at me, I ignore it, this is a common occurrence, and not something I particularly enjoy.  Then Mrs. A looks and stares at me, as she's seen Mr A looking at me.  I manage a good impersonation of Marlene Dietrich and light up a cig.  As I look around the cute kid is now looking at me, I catch her eye and give her a *big eyes* look, she gives me half a smile, smart kid. 

It's now half an hour past the time we were supposed to meet and Pierre has not turned up, so I text him and ask him if he's on the way (I don' t usually wait around like a lemon for any date).  He texts back and says he is.   My girlfriend Nina is texting me to see how things are, I told her he's late, she calls back and says he's a "far-ked".  Yeah well I told her I'd finish my glass of wine and if he didn't turn up by then I'd leave.

 Mr A. is still looking over and staring at me, and every time he does, Mrs A rubbernecks around... ggeezzz.  their food arrives, they've ordered a pizza to share to begin with, and as they tuck in, my jaw drops, Mrs A, has taken her shoes off and is now sitting cross legged on her chair eating her pizza, I mean it's bad enough that the waiters have let them in with Mr A wearing shorts and Mrs A in cut off jeans, but sitting crossed legged  on your chair in a restaurant ... So when Mr A stares at me again, I just give him a very cutting look, which says many many things but probably is not getting across as he's probably the type who thinks with a different head if you get what I mean.  I mentally make an effort to not be judgemental and check my phone.

Pierre walks in and apologises  as kisses me on both cheeks (on my face in case all your minds have fallen into the gutter) He says he's sorry he's 15 minutes late, I look at him and say '15 minutes.. what time did you think we were supposed to meet?'  He looks at me, his watch and his phone and says 'um 8.30?'   I sigh. 'actually we said 8 pm , Pierre, I've been here for 45 minutes, and was about to leave once I'd finished my drink, I don't wait around in case you were wondering"  His face goes pale for an instant, I can tell he's flustered, so he looks at me and smiles and says 'I'm so sorry Cheri, I honestly thought it was 8.30pm, I guess I'm going to be in the same ranks as Mr Retro for this mistake!'  I smile at him, he's so sincere, you can tell he feels bad. 

Now all this time I can feel two pairs of eyes on us, I clocked the look Mr A gave when he saw Pierre walking towards me and then when he sat down, and I'm not surprised, Pierre is a tall, well built black man ( I cannot say African American as his blood lines include French, Spanish and Lebanese blood!) once Pierre and I were conversing I looked over my shoulder, Mrs A had her feet back in her shoes on the floor and Mr A. wasn't craning over anymore.  He He He the colour distinction always amuses me.

Pierre orders a lovely bottle of Pinot Noir and the evening goes really well, he pays the bill when we're done and we head upstairs to the bar for a drink.  The DJ who's spinning on the night recognises me and immediately comes over to greet us, as soon as the DJ meets us, I start hissing through my teeth "stop telling him about my DJ ing days"! Pierre is looking at me in amusement.  It's retro night and MR DJ is playing all the songs we both know and love.  By the end of the night, even the bartenders are having fun and are passing us shots on the house!  

Pierre walks me to my car, he's leaving the next day for a 10 day business trip.  It was a great night and I left it at that.  Cest la vie! Dx  

hmmmn

I have such a terrible cough, I thought it was getting better last week, but I guess with the abuse I've done on the smoking end , it's not surprising that it's still with me. Just like a lot of things in life, your baggage hangs around you like a millstone and the intangible happy moments disappear in a blink of an eye. 

What is it with women our age, that we seem to be divided into two definite circles, those desperetly seeking something and taking whatever comes along and those content to live their lives and wait for the right one. I mean, we bitch and moan about the state of our love life, when we know we have a platheora of choices, which we don't really view as choices, as we disregard the ones we know, we talk and mull over the ones that we do or getting to know, and totally ignore the ones we feel are unsuitable, and lets admit it really, there are more of those than anything else.

When the right moment, with the right one does come along we backpedal.  We meet some really sweet guys who would make perfect boyfriends, and great husbands, but we always think for someone else!  The bad boys are more fun. 

I think it's time to grow up and give up the bad boys and get to know the nerds and the sweet guys.  

what is up?

I was just about to put the first spoonful of mouthwatering curry laksa in my mouth when my phone sms alert went off... Bad enough I was sitting in my work-out gear, having not showered , as my wonderful best friend said to just come over after my workout for a coffee at her House, and here I was, at a Coffee Shop, sweaty, under dressed, and staring at the sms on my phone, while she looks like she's just walked out of a magazine.. I hate her, please remind me to always take a change of clothes when visiting her after the gym.

I said to Kina,' don't take your glasses of yet mate, read this.' She takes the phone gingerly from me, like it was a ticking bomb, and reads it.  'Man, this guy just doesn't give up D,' she says.  'I know!' and I read the message again.  It's Mr. Retro, sigh, after asking me out for drinks last week and me managing to get out of it, he's now asked me to go to his resort in one of the Islands,  he said he'd make sure I'd have my own room, no strings attached , just let him spoil me ... Do I look as if I was born yesterday, No Strings Attached??? Helloooo...

I said to Kina 'It's time I sorted this out' She says 'yeah, just tell him you want a huge diamond ring, and to see the balance of his bank account, lets see how fast he disappears then!'  'Ha Ha, very funny, knowing my luck he'd comply!' I say. So I texted him and asked him if he was still in town, he texts back to say he'll be in town till Wednesday, when he leaves for the Island.  I then, and believe me I think this is a stroke of genius in the reverse physiology department, text him to say that we should meet up tomorrow, as I think we need to have a talk.  I hit send and wait to see if I get a response or if he's decided to finally cease and desist.  It's like saying over a megaphone "please stand away from your phone"!

I look at Kina who's giggling at me.  'What?' I ask.  'Didn't you just say, in my house, less than 30 minutes ago, that you've decided to live the life of a nun, and there would be no men till next year???!! She's grinning as she says this.  Now I'm getting irritated, when I don't face up to my demons and ignore them I'm told I'm sweeping my problems under the mat, when I do decide to face this particular demon, I'm now in the running as the next Mrs Retro. Arrrggghhhh!!!

Before I get to retort, the phone goes off, 'hey mate, your cricket's making noise' says Kina.  It's my sms alert, I think it's cute, unlike some people.  So I open up the message and it's a long one, I'm groaning inside, what now? Well, he's waffling on a bit, and finally says that he can meet for lunch but not dinner as he has a business dinner to attend , so would that be ok.  I call one of the producers who wants me to go outstation tomorrow, to check if it's still on before I confirm. Nope no trip, so I'm free to enter the lion's den.  I send "ok' back to him.  And typically do not receive a response to the effect of where and what time.  

As we're paying the bill for lunch the phone goes, I look at the message, and smile to myself, Kina is almost out of her chair as she cranes to see the message. 'Chill Chicka' I tell her, it's only Naz.  Who funnily enough has texted me to find out if any of my 'admirers' have contacted me.  I call her back and relay what just happened and her reply just says it all.  'Far-ked'  !  

Four hours later still no sms from him, I'm smiling to myself, should have done this ages ago I think, then I wouldn't have had to go through all the dodging and weaving!  Men..... Dx

Last Legs

I'm so tired it's not funny, all the nights out for the last three weeks, being as thick as thieves with Marie before she leaves for France , is taking it's toll on me. She's so good at giving me the big blinking eyes, 'but I'm leaving on saturday...', ok ok, I'll come out I tell her, all my good resolutions out the window. Luckily I had a small respite for a couple of days this week, it was also partly enforced by me as I had a photo shoot for a mag and I didn't want to look like road kill on the day. I was having a quiet chuckle to myself at the tag line of the article that I was to appear in, it's *where are they now*.. a bit like the one hit wonders from the Brit pop 80's innit?

However the small respite didn't last long, a quiet night in was not to be as another crisis call from Gina had to be answered and I found myself at our club on Friday night. I walked in past the rigid backs of a whole load of men who were standing there, mute as statues, mouths slightly open, drinks in hand, you could literally see the formation of some drool... and this was not because of me, (yeah yeah, great build up eh) but the all female band that was performing that night. Five nubile chicks on stage, with more energy than your average aerobic instructor, and pants slung so low, the probability of a Brazilian was a sure bet! They were belting out a mixture of retro, r&b tunes and the more recent pop hits.

I slowly made my way to the bar, moving bodies aside like mannequins, knowing full well that the testosterone levels were way to high for any cohesive response if I had asked them to move aside... I looked around and see Gina's beautiful face smiling at me, "over here!' she shouts over the noise. A group of guys are surrounding her and they turn around, 'hey D! ', it's the golfing buddies and our lawyer James. Drinks are shoved into my hands, glasses are clinked, the bartenders are mouthing their greetings to me, ahhh it's all good.

Gina leans close,  I look at her, and ask ' what happened? you ok?' She puts on a brave face ' yeah I'm ok, I've just got a lot going on now and I really don't need all the hassle' she says. I give her a squeeze, I'm not going to diss her man, she just needs positive affirmation that she's going to be ok. Which she will be. One thing I know about my best friends, is that they are all larger than life, they have all been through the fire, and they are all here standing just like me, with their heads up and facing their destinies without fear.

Someone grabs my bum and I turn around, it's Bella, a regular at the club and she's in full form, she 's got her catwoman thigh high boots on, her black shorts and a top cut down to there. 'Hey, long time no see baby! Where ya been?!' she says to me. 'Whoo hoo girlfriend, you got it goin on tonight! I say to her as she leans over to air kiss me. Her husband spots me and comes over, he gives me a big bear hug. Gina's back on the dance floor, dancing . It gives me some time to look around and see all that is going on, and I think to myself, wow, I so have not missed this! Same old crowd , some people who's mother could only love them and eeewww some who definitely need to learn about the art of wearing deodorant! Feeling Jaded? you bet. A thought about getting on flashes through my head, before I bat it out the park with amusement... I'm as young as I feel, or as my ex said to me, 'you're as young as the man you feel up!' operative word.. EX.

Periodically through the night, Gina leans into me and feeds me snippet of why she's upset and trying to rationalise it all. I nod my head, say a few words, and drink with her. As the night wears on, we do more shots, and eye up the same guy at the bar, laughing we both shake off our troubles and start to enjoy ourselves. The girls are out tonight! Dx

Cobwebs

Kerrist! I can't believe a month has flown by , I was catching up with Nora for a coerced drink (her coercing me!) last night, she had finally recovered from having *some chunks* (as she put it succinctly ) removed from her nasal passage, and was hanging out for a drink and a cig (not necessarily in that order), giving her a 30 sec moment of bliss as she inhaled and drank was quite amusing .  I said ' oi, make sure you don't dribble in front of me k' .  She just carried on oblivious in her bliss.

  

A few hours later after I had been given a lecture (yet again) about my production work (she's my unofficial CFO) she looked at me and said *D, you need to get laid* ...
"Geez thanks!" I said, 'why does it show?'  'Uh huh' was the bemused reply.  How does a person get that from another?  I mean is it printed in indelible ink on one's forehead?, is there a small post-it stuck some where on one's person that only a friend can see? Hmmm I wonder if a face tick has turned up and is broadcasting this nugget of information in Morse code to all and asunder.

  Eventually I told her to eff off as only a good friend can, my cobwebs are my business , which brings me to a funny tale about my sad state of affairs... I was in the office, of one of the companies I do event work for, and Bill, the owner who is a friend, was teasing me about an upcoming event I was working on for him.  'D, there's going to be a lot of guys at the launch hey, you might get lucky!'  he says with a huge cheesy grin . ' Bill, have you seen the caliber of men in this town?, it's not surprising I'm called the haunted house!' I say, as all the guys in the office start laughing including my best mate Kina who's helping me out with the deco.  ' He'll have to be a bit like the raider of the lost ark hey' says Bill 'Why?' I ask .. 'Because he's going to have to hack his way through to the temple of doom! ' says Bill as everyone rolls around the floor laughing hysterically.   Typical I think, well at least none of them have offered up their services..one small mercy.. I look at Kina, she's joined the other side, I shake my head and depart with a v sign to them. I'm not even going to get into the big eyes, eyebrow lifting and fake winking every time some guy spoke to me that night... needless to say the word *score* did not pass anyone's lips at all.

 Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with me, but I must say, being single nowadays is like dodging land mines, where do some men get their lines from? Is there a website or hand guide to the cheesiest lines ever? The standard line is 'where are you from?' . A myriad of answers gallop through my mind, from 'my mother's womb? to' take a stab in the dark' .... And then there are the friends who introduce you to their male friends whom they think are 'perfect' for you, most of the time after said painful introduction, the temptation to strangle your friend or pretend you're deaf is weighed up very very carefully. 

 It's a very confusing time as well to be single, the rules of engagement have changed, I mean now days no one goes on dates, seriously, when I asked a bunch of my male friends about what constituted a date, there were lines being drawn.  The guys who said 'well a date is when you call a girl up and ask her out to dinner which could be followed by a movie or clubbing' were labeled old skool where the guys who said 'well I'd ask her out for a drink ' were the guys who were now. Some of the women concurred. I mean 'hello, fancy a bonk' never did it for me, then or now. 

 And then there is the *choice* of men in our age group.. I was staring at this guy at a party, and flashes of Miami Vice (the TV series, not the movie) were popping up as I watched him schmooze his way about, and I thought 'really?' 'seriously?' 'for real?'  I'm sure that particular persona had died along with the padded shoulders... Craning around to see if there was a Ferrari parked next to the curb I was unexpectedly accosted by said sleeve pushing, pant pulling , gut sucking person.  'Hey, beautiful' is the opening line.  Caught  , I forgot to breathe, so paralyzed was I by the sheer audaciousness of Mr Retro, 'you know it's you I've been waiting for ' he says as I do an impersonation of a flounder, 'I know we're going to have a great life together' the creature continues, ' I can see you with me in my summer house, darling we're going to be married in six months time for sure, you can ask you friend Ari to be your best man, '  the said Ari, my 'former' closest male friend is sitting at the mini bar grinning at me, I swear I could see a pointed tail curled around the bar stool he was sitting on. I said ' uh, excuse me a sec, I have to see a man about a burial'.. and make a break for my 'former' friend Ari. Diving behind him I hiss 'W T F '! Do you know what he's saying to me!!!!' Ari gives a me a lazy smile and says 'c'mon D, he's an ok guy, maybe he really means it' I choke on my drink and Ari has to thump my back as I hold off the jets of gin and tonic which are threatening  to burst forth from my nostrils. ' Are you mad?, the guy is a total creep!' I manage to croak, I'm then joined by conspirator no. 2, who's also grinning at me, 'Yea D, c'mon, he's cute, he's rich, and he's coming your way....' Gina says. I look in disbelief at both of my friends as Mr Retro oils over. 'Hey guys, I want you to come to our wedding!' he cries out, 'this is my future ex wife!' My usual cutting lines have packed up and departed,  I can only look at him.  He continues ' hey darling, why don't you come over to my place, I've got these great king prawns, I can cook them up for us, they're so delicious, trust me, I won't do anything to you'  he says looking at me, well I think it's at me, as he's much taller and he could just be talking to my cleavage.  I manage an insincere smile and decline as graciously as I can.  The man can't take a hint, and says he's heading off, why don't I give him my number and he'll call me to give me directions to his place.  Two sets of eyes are burning into me, I stammer out my phone number really fast forgetting to switch the last number and hoping that because I'm rattling it off faster than the speed of sound he doesn't catch it.. my bad, he's had practice for sure as he repeats it back accurately.  

Fast forward two years later I'm still getting sms messages from him along the lines of ' You're impossible. Let me know when we can get together to discuss OUR future as we're not getting any younger'  Have I gone mad? Did I skip a chapter in my life somewhere? I have bumped into him sporadically at different places and it's always ' hey babe, I'm still waiting for you, hey everyone have you met my future ex wife!'  I can't tell you how fast an exit I make but I'm sure I've broken the 50 meter dash record in some country somewhere.

 In the mean time another mate of mine,with an innocent look, offered to buy me an industrial vacuum cleaner 'for the cobwebs', he says. The look lasted for two seconds,  before he turned around and collapsed with laughter. Setting aside the spring cleaning jokes, there is more to the haunted house that meets the eye.  Dx

I had an interesting conversation the other day, I was asked if I wanted to go back on radio.  I've been off air for a while and moved into Television, which poses the question, which is the better medium.

Music has always been my first love.  It's why I got into the whole industry to begin with.  It is also why I did radio, because I enjoyed it, and when I felt that it was a chore and too political, as it usually does, I left.  I did not join another station as I had other things to pursue. Since then I've been producing shows and it's been just as gratifying.  Funny how people perceive  it as dropping off the scene.  I just was not interested anymore 

So I'm thinking to myself, do I really want to do this...? and strangely enough my first reaction is no.  I don't.  I think the radio industry is stagnant, there is nothing new, the formats are all the same and not one single station has anything extraordinary to offer. Whereas creating and producing my own show for television gives me an incredible buzz, the kind I used to get just before I went in to spin in a Club, watching the people from my booth, enjoying the atmos and pushing myself to see how well I could rock the house that night. I've even conceptualised a show based on music that I'd like to bring to the viewers eventually.. but that's another story. So I guess for now, I'll keep to the production side of things, and give radio a miss, until that is a station comes around and grabs me by the ..... 

just kicking back

Isn't there many a time, you sit around thinking that you're so alone, that at times of being totally kicked in the teeth and writhing on the ground with the insane behaviour of business partners, friends, family...( you get the picture), that who would be the one person to save you, to call, to scream at, to vent, to cry on, there was no one, no one but you. I have lived with my aloneness for four years now, four years of getting back on my feet, of keeping it together, of rebuilding my life, of reshaping the relationships I've had, am having will have. I've watched, I've listened, I've walked away from and I've stood my ground, and I keep thinking it's going to get easier, it's almost there, but the question is, when do you know ? when do you know it's the right time to date, to start your own business, to leave the past behind, to sell the car? I feel like I've been stumbling through the last four years and finally the Epiphany of my past behaviour, relationships and state of mind, hit me, like a thousand rain drops falling from the storm clouds above my head.  I am the master of my own universe, my life is in my hands, I shape my own world, what am I waiting for? Nothing.  Because everything is waiting for me.