A long time coming

Sakinah

It's taken me months to finally sit down and write this blog as hard as it was then as it is now. Lets just rip the bandaid off and go for it. One of my best friends whom I've blogged about under the nickname 'Kina" passed away a few months ago from cancer. I hadn't realised how much it affected me until the black dog of depression was barking in my face. I saw all the FB posts, the texts from friends, messages and calls. I really didn't want to reach out, the only ones were to her beloved husband, her beautiful and strong children and some of her sisters and brothers I have contact with. I don't want this blog to be about heartache and sadness because in many quiet moments of meditation I see her in her tight leather pants, figure hugging top that used to highlight her boobs and show off her perpetual tan and lovely broad shoulders and that really cheeky smile she had with a small nod to me. She's in a good space.

Sakinah, Stace and I (front row) Sarah, not sure and Sophiane back row

I met Kina through another friend in Kuala lumpur, she was a sister of a good friend as well. So whenever she flew in from France we'd all get together and have a great time either having drinks by the pool or dinner out or at her sister's house. She was an incredible designer and seamstress. Trained by the best in France, she's dressed most of the socialites and was very much in demand! 

 When she first made the move to KL we'd go off and have drinks, meet people , talk about her designs, if she didn't speak and was looking into the distance I knew she was concocting a design in her head. She dragged me to so many fabric stores and haberdasheries I've lost count (oh the glazing over of eyes as she picked up another bolt of fabric), she educated me in colour palettes(her fav was plums, greys and silver), she insisted on helping me decorate my home as her's was just so beautiful (hence the caramel shag rug and sand leather overstuffed couch). 

 She helped me through my grief of loosing my husband to cancer,( "c'mon, you're not going to stay young forever, live a little !" ) she was there for me when I had a major operation done ( "did you ask them to do a tummy tuck as well D whilst they were rummaging around in there? "... "shaddap Kina and go away I'm in pain") We spent so many nights at her place eating and sipping wine and talking about everything, and then she fell in love with her now husband! The constant "are you off the damn phone yet Kina, just say goodbye to him! we gotta go!", or can you please stop "texting" him I'm talking to you or hey where did "Kina go?"

Paul an Sakinah

My family always asked if she wasn't with me at some function where's your other half ? My mother and late father who had met her separately, really liked her. My dad would try to converse with her in French and flirt like mad... typical!  When my mum came down from UK,  Sakinah and I had given her a lift to a club to go meet her friends aka cronies aka the ageless with attitude.  When mum got out of the car her  friends grasped her in an embrace and they walked off into the club arm in arm.  I'll never forget Sakinah looking at me and saying "one day D, that's gonna be you and me" I looked at her and laughed, " well I know for sure you'd be wearing hella sexier clothes! " we drove off cackling.

Zuzu, D , Kina and Stash

Her kids were great, so smart, so clever and so together just like their Maman, yes they had a few squeaks here and there of trouble, but Aunty D smiled and kept her mouth shut. She worried about them, their meals when she was caught up working late, or their school, their transportation, their well being and teaching them independence! what an incredible mum. Through all that had been thrown at her she persevered, and turned dust to gold.    

Her reputation grew, and she became very social, her husband (who was then her.. ee gadds dare we say boyfriend? ok partner?) and Kina had moved in together and were now a firm item.  Work was taking me everywhere so our little get togethers became less frequent but we always spoke and manage to catch up, she was now moving  in a different circle of friends, they wanted her attention, her opinion, to be her best friend! It was wonderful for her. 

The Marine Ball

We went to Cambodia together as that was the country of her birth, her sister was getting married, at a beach resort the family owned, she told me stories of how they escaped the Khmer Rouge and what they had to leave behind. The rich tapestry of Cambodia and the mixture of Khmer and French was amazing, her friends from Cambodia respected her so much. The wedding ceremony at the resort was amazing, as a nod to one of their Indian ancestors the ladies all dressed in Saris, and the guests that turned up  were enchanted with Kina. She had that "je ne sais quai".

Sylvia an Kina in their beautiful saris.

As life meandered on and I was yo yo ing between, production, no jobs, radio (waking up to early to be coherent by the time afternoon hit)  we would get together for our own personal supper club, sometimes it was 3 of us with my other bestie Peggers or four if we could rope in another one brave enough to join!. The deal was every one would take a turn hosting the meal, and would talk about the dish they prepared that evening and what it meant to them. ( did I tell you I'm a food anthropology geek?) I loved the friendly competitive spirit we had when hosting!  

 The day finally came when I was leaving Malaysia, Sakinah and her husband invited me to theirs for a pre drink before dinner out, (she had no idea her friends had thrown her a surprise birthday party! he he). When we were saying our goodbyes outside the restaurant, it was poignant as she was leaving for the states with her husband to start a new life there. We took a load of pics and were chuckling away like old times. When I got home she texted me and said, "hey Paul said this is probably the last time we'll see you as we're leaving for the states and you're going to Oz". I said "yea unless you come over" (as her kids were settled in Australia too ,yea we all travelled a lot) . She said "or you come to the States and I'll find you a really good man! " (ahhh yes.. that ol chestnut!)

2017

That was the last time I saw her. She had planned to give me a surprise visit in Oz just after I came out of my cancer treatment, so when she called to say she had suspected cancer, I said "why do you have to copy everything I do?!" I could feel her rolling her eyeballs from the other side of the phone!. We spoke on and off for the next couple of years while she was diagnosed and treated and then the communication eventually went silent.  So my darling wonderful amazing creative friend who would pull me up and give me a talking to , who said "I made D cry.. but I had to do it!" who took care of her 12 siblings single handedly, who did right by her family and friends, who believed in a parallel universe, who loved her kids and man fiercely. I bid you adieu for now. 

We think about you always 

We talk about you still 

You have never been forgotten 

And you never will 

We hold you close within our hearts 

And there you will remain

 To walk and guide us through our lives 

Until we meet again 

 with love Dx

France fourth impressin

I said to Ana, it's weird today I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach as we were driving into Aix, she said she felt like I was looking at everything for the first time with my eyes wide open. And you know what.. I am, I've finally realised who I am, what I want and where I am heading and that with the strength in me that I've come to understand I know I'm going to start really jetting ahead with my life.

I finally closed all the chapters in my life that were holding me back and I'm so excited about what the future holds, if any of this can make sense at all to you. I guess being away from all my normal daily troubles and stresses has made me see clearly from afar. So hello world, I'm back. (you must think I'm right nut!)

The Mistral blew it's icy wind upon us yesterday, making us feel chilled to the bone but did not deter us from zipping around and checking out the villages around the Luberon. I do like the country , it's peaceful and moves at it's own pace. I told Ana I have to go back to NZ to see it again, to see how I feel, if it still captivates me like it did a couple of years ago, and then I'l make my final decision... When you decide to do something and start the wheel turning everything seems to fall into place.
Two more days to enjoy total freedom, here's looking at ya. Sante DX

France third impression

After walking the dogs (Ana has two) for an hour along the small french roads which meandered around some vinyards, we came back and flaked out, it's so damn hot! Popped off after two to go into town and have a coffee and do even more shopping.. not me, Ana, I just got this lovely charm bracelet with little angles of Puyvert dangling sweetly from it. We have to time ourselves because like Spain the shops close till 3 in the afternoon! Oh what is a shopaholic to do!

We went a little mad at the butchers as I opened my big mouth and said I felt like sausages, (yes yes I know I don't look like one... arghhh old joke!) so we've got one of each! god knows how two women are going to plough through it all! The question is whether I have the energy to bbq them tonight or will just saute them in olive oil, which is abundant in this place, there are olive trees everywhere!

I'll be sadly leaving France on the 16th, Ana is determined to make me change my mind about moving to NZ and to France instead, she's already started to ply me with links for residency applications! he he he...

Am having my first glass of rose as I'm typing this, and hoping yet again that my jet lag won't get the best of me, I mean I do enjoy sitting out on the patio looking at the stars at 4 am, but it's hell on the energy levels. My mother called me from the Uk and told me I was pathetic for having my lag this long.. my mum is one tough bird.

as you can see from the pic well past the blurry bits.. we did the sausages! Dx

France second impression

I've just come back from yet another lovely chilled out lunch in Lourmarin, which is the village we're staying in, lovely pretty little restaurant on top of those old buildings, it has romantic red and white curtains hanging to give everyone some form of privacy, creeping vines with black berries snaking across the top of the trellis, soft music being piped in and loungy benches with thick fat cushions to sit on, we needed the hair of the dog today after last night's over the top drinking session due to the departure of another friend who had been visiting as well, and surprisingly they made really tasty bloody Marys!

The rose wines here are the speciality of the region, I normally am not a big rose fan, but I must say they are very very good, turning into a lush? why I do NOT beg to differ!

Hmm one does assume that the french are an arrogant bunch, but I've noticed here how polite they are. When you get into a lift they say bonjour, when you get out they say, Au revoir, when you go to cafe to order it always hello, thank you and have a good day when you leave, I was told that they are more receptive to foreigners when you attempt to speak in French to them first.. a point that has been proven , I tried.. heh heh . jusqu'à la prochaine fois
Dx

The return of the mac

Has it really been since July that I've not posted a blog? Wow.. Have I been distracted or what? (what do you mean or what?) Ok lets bring this up to speed, as the posts are going to look like they're allover the the place once I start with all the stories I've been hiding in my little lappie..(lap top to those of you who aren't quite sure).
Right, I've been to France and back, I've had my final last ditch, no holds barred, lets do this properly, we're going to see if we have a future together with A..... and it was a total nose dive into "uh huh I should have SO not gone there", but it did make me realise a few things, one of them being that I was a lot stronger that I thought, that I can take the knocks and dust myself off and try again.

I loved France it was a perfect experience, and opened my heart and mind and said "what ever happens I'll just go with the flow". The French men sure have perfected flirting into an art form... if you want an ego boost, that's the place to go!
Coming back was a physical and mental let down, I thought perhaps because I needed to get away that I'd be back and life would go on with less stress, but Nooo, I've realised that it really is time to go, face the big blue yonder and just do it.

The end of the year is here, so many changes are brewing, I can feel and smell it in the air, much is afoot. I am excited, scared, curious, happy but most importantly grateful for this extraordinary life I lead. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!
Oooo heh heh, I can't hardly wait!
Dx

Bling It On!

I went to France recently to go visit my good friend Ana, and while we were discussing my travel plans, I asked her what I should bring along with me to wear. She told me that the weather would be still pretty warm and to bring strappy tops and tanks. I said I'd bring some of my bling bling tops along (as a joke) and she said "Daph, I have to live here.." and I replied "Bling It On!!"
I actually did bring a few of my blingy t's with me to her lovely village in the south of France, and giggled myself silly when we walked through the village with me wearing them, however I know she didn't expect any less of me!
Viva La France !
Dx