A long time coming

Sakinah

It's taken me months to finally sit down and write this blog as hard as it was then as it is now. Lets just rip the bandaid off and go for it. One of my best friends whom I've blogged about under the nickname 'Kina" passed away a few months ago from cancer. I hadn't realised how much it affected me until the black dog of depression was barking in my face. I saw all the FB posts, the texts from friends, messages and calls. I really didn't want to reach out, the only ones were to her beloved husband, her beautiful and strong children and some of her sisters and brothers I have contact with. I don't want this blog to be about heartache and sadness because in many quiet moments of meditation I see her in her tight leather pants, figure hugging top that used to highlight her boobs and show off her perpetual tan and lovely broad shoulders and that really cheeky smile she had with a small nod to me. She's in a good space.

Sakinah, Stace and I (front row) Sarah, not sure and Sophiane back row

I met Kina through another friend in Kuala lumpur, she was a sister of a good friend as well. So whenever she flew in from France we'd all get together and have a great time either having drinks by the pool or dinner out or at her sister's house. She was an incredible designer and seamstress. Trained by the best in France, she's dressed most of the socialites and was very much in demand! 

 When she first made the move to KL we'd go off and have drinks, meet people , talk about her designs, if she didn't speak and was looking into the distance I knew she was concocting a design in her head. She dragged me to so many fabric stores and haberdasheries I've lost count (oh the glazing over of eyes as she picked up another bolt of fabric), she educated me in colour palettes(her fav was plums, greys and silver), she insisted on helping me decorate my home as her's was just so beautiful (hence the caramel shag rug and sand leather overstuffed couch). 

 She helped me through my grief of loosing my husband to cancer,( "c'mon, you're not going to stay young forever, live a little !" ) she was there for me when I had a major operation done ( "did you ask them to do a tummy tuck as well D whilst they were rummaging around in there? "... "shaddap Kina and go away I'm in pain") We spent so many nights at her place eating and sipping wine and talking about everything, and then she fell in love with her now husband! The constant "are you off the damn phone yet Kina, just say goodbye to him! we gotta go!", or can you please stop "texting" him I'm talking to you or hey where did "Kina go?"

Paul an Sakinah

My family always asked if she wasn't with me at some function where's your other half ? My mother and late father who had met her separately, really liked her. My dad would try to converse with her in French and flirt like mad... typical!  When my mum came down from UK,  Sakinah and I had given her a lift to a club to go meet her friends aka cronies aka the ageless with attitude.  When mum got out of the car her  friends grasped her in an embrace and they walked off into the club arm in arm.  I'll never forget Sakinah looking at me and saying "one day D, that's gonna be you and me" I looked at her and laughed, " well I know for sure you'd be wearing hella sexier clothes! " we drove off cackling.

Zuzu, D , Kina and Stash

Her kids were great, so smart, so clever and so together just like their Maman, yes they had a few squeaks here and there of trouble, but Aunty D smiled and kept her mouth shut. She worried about them, their meals when she was caught up working late, or their school, their transportation, their well being and teaching them independence! what an incredible mum. Through all that had been thrown at her she persevered, and turned dust to gold.    

Her reputation grew, and she became very social, her husband (who was then her.. ee gadds dare we say boyfriend? ok partner?) and Kina had moved in together and were now a firm item.  Work was taking me everywhere so our little get togethers became less frequent but we always spoke and manage to catch up, she was now moving  in a different circle of friends, they wanted her attention, her opinion, to be her best friend! It was wonderful for her. 

The Marine Ball

We went to Cambodia together as that was the country of her birth, her sister was getting married, at a beach resort the family owned, she told me stories of how they escaped the Khmer Rouge and what they had to leave behind. The rich tapestry of Cambodia and the mixture of Khmer and French was amazing, her friends from Cambodia respected her so much. The wedding ceremony at the resort was amazing, as a nod to one of their Indian ancestors the ladies all dressed in Saris, and the guests that turned up  were enchanted with Kina. She had that "je ne sais quai".

Sylvia an Kina in their beautiful saris.

As life meandered on and I was yo yo ing between, production, no jobs, radio (waking up to early to be coherent by the time afternoon hit)  we would get together for our own personal supper club, sometimes it was 3 of us with my other bestie Peggers or four if we could rope in another one brave enough to join!. The deal was every one would take a turn hosting the meal, and would talk about the dish they prepared that evening and what it meant to them. ( did I tell you I'm a food anthropology geek?) I loved the friendly competitive spirit we had when hosting!  

 The day finally came when I was leaving Malaysia, Sakinah and her husband invited me to theirs for a pre drink before dinner out, (she had no idea her friends had thrown her a surprise birthday party! he he). When we were saying our goodbyes outside the restaurant, it was poignant as she was leaving for the states with her husband to start a new life there. We took a load of pics and were chuckling away like old times. When I got home she texted me and said, "hey Paul said this is probably the last time we'll see you as we're leaving for the states and you're going to Oz". I said "yea unless you come over" (as her kids were settled in Australia too ,yea we all travelled a lot) . She said "or you come to the States and I'll find you a really good man! " (ahhh yes.. that ol chestnut!)

2017

That was the last time I saw her. She had planned to give me a surprise visit in Oz just after I came out of my cancer treatment, so when she called to say she had suspected cancer, I said "why do you have to copy everything I do?!" I could feel her rolling her eyeballs from the other side of the phone!. We spoke on and off for the next couple of years while she was diagnosed and treated and then the communication eventually went silent.  So my darling wonderful amazing creative friend who would pull me up and give me a talking to , who said "I made D cry.. but I had to do it!" who took care of her 12 siblings single handedly, who did right by her family and friends, who believed in a parallel universe, who loved her kids and man fiercely. I bid you adieu for now. 

We think about you always 

We talk about you still 

You have never been forgotten 

And you never will 

We hold you close within our hearts 

And there you will remain

 To walk and guide us through our lives 

Until we meet again 

 with love Dx

What a scandal

Whooo the exhibition  for Scandelabra is in a weeks time! The excitement is building, d  and as I'm co organiser,  I'm getting all the invites out.   Lisa the artist under her brand OXOLOCO,  has helped me in the past with  my graphics, banners, labels you name it, she did it!,  is working like Trojan to get the pieces ready for ... you'll love this date, Friday the 13th. Heh Heh, Lisa picked it purposely as she feels it's a lucky day.

Trying to get some  work in progress images from Lisa, was bit tricky but I managed to rile her up enough to send me a few! He He.  Do you remember the green Celadon tea pot I gave her to use as part of her artwork? ( I posted in my last blog)   Well I spotted it in her work shop (sneaky me!)

Can you spot the teapot....

 It's such a joyful feeling to see creativity take shape, especially if you're contributed, in a very minute way, towards it. Lisa told me she paired my Celadon tea pot with her mothers vintage Noritake saucer.  The story behind it was that her father had bought it for her mother when they first got married, but the entire set was stolen when they put the set into storage whilst having their house built, except for that one piece, how odd eh.

The noritake saucer that was left behind!

So can you imagine the stories behind each lamp?  I imagine owning such a lamp would be quite the centrepiece of some interesting conversation! 

She's also been working on the lamp shades, and they range from lace to little chi chi pom poms like this one 

You know you're going to touch the pom pom!

I'm still trying to imagine how Lisa will stage the area we've been so kindly given by the owner of Ziba carpets, but dressing areas is her forte and I'm sure it will look exactly the way she wants in order to highlight these beautiful upcycled pieces of functional art.  

For those of you who want to come join us, it's going to be at Ziba, the addy is 26G, 26-1 & 26-2, Jalan Telawi  2, Bangsar Baru, Kuala Lumpur, between 3 and 9 pm.   Here's the link for  Ziba directions

For those of you who can't make it, we're going to be staging a few more little pop up exhibitions around Malaysia, so stay tuned for that on my blog.  I'll leave you with a tantalising image of one of her finished pieces.   For those of you attending, see you on Friday.  Thank you again for subscribing to my blog and hey I do post vlogs up from time to time on you tube, so check those out too.  Happy Weekend!

Scandelabra Blue

Speedy Gonzales

My daughter Leilani stays calm in traffic by taking selfies!

Yet another day goes by,  and yet again I'm gesticulating in traffic, or swearing at the person who just cut me up/tail-gated me/ didn't indicate, you've been there, you know what I mean (my kids certainly do, they tell me I'm Jekyll and Hyde in the car!).  You get home or to your destination totally frazzled and either grumble about it for a bit or  have to take a few moments to calm down.   I usually wonder to myself "what's the rush?"  Will being two cars ahead get you to your destination faster?  Are you that late that you have to drive like a maniac?

Idiot driver on wrong side of the road trying to muscle in with school KIDS onboard!

There's traffic even in Marseille, but at least the view's great!

But then this attitude is not only  relegated to when ones drives, it's with everything you do in life. For example, when I started my first TV show, man I was pushing and pushing and knocking on the doors of everyone and everything.  I had to get the show out, it was do or die, now or never, what if TOMORROW never comes!!! I pushed so hard I got my sponsor on board within a month, and just like that, even after signing the contracts they pulled out!... just as we were going into pre production. Fast forward two years from that after a really bad bout of depression, a couple of very shitty jobs and 3 lawsuits, I thought well this is it isn't it, I can't go any further down.  I remember  venting to my close friends, they said "what's stopping you from doing your show now?" , "we'd love to help you".   It's incredible how faith, luck, timing and some incredible partners can change everything.  5 months to the day they said it, we had "the Art of living show" on Air.  It is all about timing, which brings me to my point.   I rushed around like a blue arsed fly and it all blew up in my face.  You can not see all the outside forces that are influencing those moments, and sometimes when you push too hard, it pushes back.  Plus my sponsors this time round were so supportive and just the best sort you could hope for.  (Yes mum, patience is a virtue )

I've got my second TV show ready, but this time I'm not rushing around, I'm being methodical, taking my time, allowing the natural order of timelines to flow so it can and will be taken up by the right people with the right attitude for the show.  I'm not saying sit back and let it all fall into your lap, ha ha ha , it that was true, I'm sure we'd all be sitting at home watching the idiot box and waiting for the phone to ring!  I'm saying it's just like fishing, you have to put all your lines in the water, be patient and when you get a bite, reel it in patiently or it will get away if you rush the process.  (Who would have thought I'd use a fishing metaphor, thank you to Xtreme Fishing!)

My wonderful friend Reza who let us use his Shop

Here's another example, (err not a fishing one ok)  I've known Lisa for years, we've met irregularly at best,  but last year everything clicked between us, friendship wise, work wise, creatively(the timing was right).   We've been slowly building towards working on several creative projects together, and individually.  One of them is for her exhibition of up cycled lamps.  I must admit I was pushing for her to have her exhibition sooner, I felt it would be beneficial to get it out faster, get the word out and push her a  little harder.  We worked out the timelines and got to looking for exhibition spaces.  But you see, yet again the timing wasn't right, pieces were delayed,  the space we agreed on wasn't what she really wanted in the end.  So leaving all that aside, I carried on with some of my other ventures and whilst having a couple of hours to kill I decided to visit an ol friend who owned a shop in one of the prime locations of the 'golden triangle' in Kuala lumpur.  As we chatted over lunch together I told him about what I was doing and how were were looking for space for the exhibition and needed sponsors as well, and just like that, he offered his place... timing yet again is everything.

She was taking pictures of the place but the cat insisted on posing!

My Celadon pot that will be used for Lisa's work!

I brought Lisa for a visit the following week and she absolutely loved it!  It was perfect for her.  This time we did delay the timing for the exhibition further into the next month where she felt most comfortable and what suited the owner of the shop as well.   Yet again here is an example of not rushing, of taking the time to plan and organise, of fate, of luck.   Now that we've got the dates locked down for Friday 13th of May! (great date)  we'll create a FB page to extend an invitation to you to come see these beautiful upcycled lamps that Lisa has called "Scandelabra" .  Stay tuned for more info on that

 I guess as we get older as well,  one begins to wonder why?  Why are we rushing around?  Is the world really going to come crashing down on our shoulders if we slowed down?  Why are you working at break neck speed setting aside what you really want to do, and sometimes all you want to do is earn a decent living doing what you enjoy and spending time with the ones you love.  We've lost the ability to "stop and smell the roses.   So what I say to you is this, take a deep breath, slow that pace down a tad and look up... what do you see?

I see you !

Mini Road Trip

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A while back when I was experimenting with a product for our new business venture, Lisa the little faerie who designs my blog, mentioned a place that her mother recommended to buy the organic version.  So finally this weekend we went on a mini road trip to place called Janda Baik which is about an hour's drive from Kuala Lumpur.

We zipped along in her little Swift and had to double back a few times as we couldn't find the turnings, on one of them we were actually only a hundred meters away from our destination but had turned back as it looked as if it was heading towards a dead end.  So after stopping to pick up some of the roasted chestnuts they sell along the way and checking with Lisa's mum again, we finally made it there!

The road was lined with vendors selling fresh produce, but I could not find what I was looking for. However I did stumble upon this

RED BANANAS!!

I picked up a bunch of these exotic red bananas to bring home for the kids to try,  as Lisa had never tried one she decided to eat one there and then!  I watched her face as she took a bite, she turned and looked at me "it's not bad, a bit tart and soft in the middle" she exclaimed.  Cool bananas! She also said they would taste perfect for "Pengat Pisang" which is bananas boiled in coconut milk So then we moseyed on further and I came across this beautiful red number

ROSELLA

We've all seen the Rosella syrup and teas but here it was fresh and abundant.  So I got myself half a kilo of this vitamin c packed wonder ruby and managed to slip in a few packets of their fresh veg. Though I didn't get what I  originally came for, I found something I could experiment on!

So back at the cave, I decided to do my "double double toil and trouble, fire burn and caldron bubble".  I first made the Rosella drink , by boiling and steeping the flowers 

It doesn't take long to boil and what a great colour!

Straining the flowers, and it's ready to drink,  you can add sugar or honey to sweeten it

I also made some Rosella Jam!  (errrr needed some form of creative outlet!)  Well the great thing is I've created a tasty jam and we've now found someone who produces what I've been looking for, which means another Road TRIP!!! wheeeeee

My home made Rosella Jam and Drink! Cheers!

Thanks for taking the time to read this and have a great week ahead!

First Episode of T.A.O.L.S

*Hey Daph, can you come over to my shop now ?*, says my best friend Sakinah.
*I will be there in an hour or so, just waiting on some docs here, whats up? *I say
*I am trying to figure out the best colour for your dress for the opening title* , She says
*Oh my god, girlfriend!*, *I said I would just come over and have a look at what you already have! You don't have to make a dress especially for me!* I exclaim.
This is so very typical of Sakinah, who owns Intent in Bangsar. She is a perfectionist when it comes to clothes and fashion, so rather than have me choose something that fits, she will make something that is perfect, and when I went there a couple of hours later, the dress was already sewn up and ready for a final fitting. She had chosen a royal purple colour. I looked at her quizzically, I don't usually wear purple.
She said * Just you wait and see, the colour will really pop out on the screen* and guess what , she was absolutely right!

The next day we started our shoot for episode 1,we took off to Ipoh for the day, to shoot a couple of developments there, and the day after two beautiful luxury resort condos in KL. I have waited so long to bring this whole production together, I had waited for my Film Director to be available and for my make up artist Lyana Dee, who know just how to make my skin look flawless!

Exhausted? yes. Stressed? yes. Loving it? absolutely!

Yesterday I spent three hours in the recording studio doing all my voice over pieces. My throat was so sore by the end, but it was a very productive recording, albeit the phone calls and e mails swamping my blackberry every second!
This week we have more shoots to do, and will be looking at the final edit of episode one, I am so excited!
Dx