Flora's Flowers by Debi Gliori

Ok ok I'll admit it, I was leaving for a small getaway, just a couple of weeks in S.A, by the harbour, and was trying to fit in everything including recording and editing my book reading, so far I haven't been rumbled as my grandson hasn't squeaked about missing a new story! 

Anyway, you know murphy's law, anything and everything, from camera not autofocusing , batteries going dead suddenly, tripod missing, only thing that was working was my mike and even then the dog thought it was a game to try catch the cable it was attached to!  I'm just so amazed I even got one story from all that palaver !  

It's all edited to the best of my little sticky fingers, it's a sweet story about gardening and growing things, bit of a sore point with me, after the big move from the Sunny Coast to the City a lot of my plants karked it... I've tried very hard over the years to be the green thumb chick I know that  is deep  (very deep) inside of me, instead of the city chick who squeals at worms (I even touch them without a glove I tell ya... yea look at me go!) so when a plant of mine dies or can't be saved from overnight locust munch downs, it's saddens me.  Perhaps like this story I should try to grow a brick and see what happens... waddaya think?

have a lovely week yall

Dx

A reading of Room on the Broom

I do hope you have been enjoying these hilarious stories I've been reading for my grandson Idris on my youtube channel.  I've found so much joy in being able to read and record them, as I know he gets to watch it over and over again.

Dedicated to children all over the world , big and small.

Dx

Down the Rabbit Hole - Dodgy Daph's Medical Adventures pt 4

Going back home was great, you sleep in your own bed, you don't get woken up every 4 hours , apart from  when the kids are getting ready.   One has to play Elvis's blue Hawaii to kick off his morning (don't ask me where he gets his musical taste from k)  and the other one is listening to rap. (yeah well we know where she got her musical taste from!)   It's good to be alive!

Food and Kids... the game changer

I  try to get  back to the normal swing of things, go for my walks, have con calls for work, but all the while I'm waiting for the call that tells me when to go in to the Hematology Clinic. It's a worry at the pit of your stomach.    When I get the call it's like the calm before the storm.
The day arrives when I go in, Annie is driving me in and holding my hand.  My Doc is Dr Rich. Hes asking me what I know so far.  So I told him that I supposedly have a mass on my lung that was fairly large and that it was suspected Lymphoma.
He said " Yes you do have Lymphoma. "  I swallow.  "in fact the mass on your lung which is a very  aggressive form of tumor and rare is currently being viewed in Brisbane to determine weather it's lymphoblastic.  If it is we will have to begin with a very aggressive form of chemotherapy called HYPER CVAD.  Do you have any questions?
Yes at what stage is my Lymphoma.?  I ask nervously (c'mon we're all curious!) .
He says " it's stage 2, from the CT scans and PET scans it's just localised to the lymph nodes around the lung area only.  Phew that is at least good.  then he says," however I do want to do a bone marrow biopsy."
 I asked him"why?'
 he said "for the possibility that it might have spread to the bones or more for prevention purposes."  I asked him "why now as the other times they said they wouldn't do it because of the fluid in my lungs.. "
 He said "we'll be really careful and give you loads of local anesthetic to lessen the pain".
 For some reason I'm totally against it.  I mean OK we're talking about chemo , we're waiting to see the classification of the tumor and now this?"When do you want this by?"
 He says" I can get you on Thursday.  By then we'll also have the results from Brisbane. "
"Can I think about it,?
 He says "yes, I am not forcing you to do this, I don't want you in any pain , think about it and call me later to let me know if you're ok with it", and writes is number down for me to call by the afternoon".
Annie and I go for a coffee, she asks me why I don't want to do it,
I said " I just feel that it's really not necessary at this moment in time, it's not going to make any difference to the treatment they're giving me".
 Annie says "ok my friend it's you're choice and I'll back you but if I were you I'd do it and that's all I want to say."" 
I called the doctor and told him that I just didn't want to do it, so he said "ok, come in on Thursday for blood tests and results."
 I go in to the clinic on Thursday and yes it is confirmed that I have stage 2 non Hodgkin's lymphoma tcell lymphoblastic tumour.  Dr Rich wants me in on Friday for final check up and bloods and I'm in hospital next week.  I asked if I could wait to go to hospital, it 's all so fast.  He said "no Daphne, we need to get in there and get rid of this mass , you're not going to be able to travel and will have to stay put for a while". So in a flurry he starts to write down letters to all parties on my behalf.  So competent, and pushy but I understand why he's so adamant.

waiting for my blood tests

I go home and I'm in tears, I'm ranting, I don't want to do chemo, who the hell does?  It's like dropping a napalm bomb on your system.  It compromises your immune system and then there are all the side effects like hair loss, weight loss, muscle mass loss, and a whole host more one finds out after going through it.   I get several calls from those closest to me, with words of support and encouragement.  Bottom line is they all think I should just bite the bullet and do the chemo, "just look at it this way Daph, get it over and done with, it's 5 months of your life , then get on with your life and live it your way".  says Kymmie . 
Yeah this is it and I can't mess around, I want to be around for my Kids Graduation from university, may be kiss a grand child or two, finish my bucket list of travel destinations and get one more show off the ground.  Suck it up Daph, you can do this, after all you've been through more in your life, including watching your husband die in your arms, so get the warrior goddess in you to the fore and tame the beast.
 I see my doctor again we talk about the protocol I will be going through, the side effects, how many cycles and tolerance levels.
I look at Dr Rich and say, "but Doc, how am to pay for all of this?  My Insurance from AIG have refused to honour the payment, I don't have medicare , and I can't work now "  He says' look we've been in touch with Admin and we know what's going on but the most important thing here is we get you treated first, with regards to the hospital bills, we'll sort it out later and also get your social worker to start working on how we can sort that out ok, don't worry about that "  I'm shocked,  most of the hospitals I've been to don't even look at you unless you present your insurance card and your credit card. Here it is treatment first.

My Picc Line with 3 lines

So I begin my Chemo that Monday, the first thing they do is sit me down and brief me on what the protocol will entail, as well as leaflets and support groups that I can reach out to. (yes I behaved and didn't do anything silly)   Then I'm taken into the room to have my picc line put in,  it's easier for them to get a line in through one of your main veins in your arms as opposed to poking it with a needle, less damage done and it goes straight to your main ventricle in the heart that pumps out the most blood. I won't tell you about the pain, but this is the beginning of a lot of localised anaesthetic and long needles.

Calculating the ration of chemo and drip timing

Next I'm sent to the chemo chairs for the nurses to begin prepping me for my first chemo treatment.  I will be in hospital for a week as they need to keep an eye on me on how my kidneys are handling the chemo and to ensure that my pH levels are stable as well as my vitals.The nurses make it an easier stay,

oookk so this is what chemo feels like....

I have to have a lumbar puncture on my second day, no fun but it has to be done as they also inject a minute amount via your spinal tap to go past the blood brain barrier to get to the brain so it's more of a preventative dose . My two brain cells are loving the attention, lets see who makes the most of this.. ha ha.
My week of bad hospital food, lumbar punctures, chemo treatments, urine tests, 4 hourly monitoring, white blood cell shots are over, I get to go home and my brother surprises me with a visit from Malaysia!  Thank goodness for family.

I'm packed and ready to go home after a week in hospital!

So one treatment down and I'm back home, what is in store when I get back?  a friend who is working actively to promote her hair auction to raise money for me https://www.gofundme.com/down-the-rabbit-hole-with-daphne and what it really feels like to be a cancer patient.  I'll be back

Down the Rabbit Hole Pt 2

I hear voices, nurses talking, some groaning, beeping... the night has not gone peacefully, Morpheus deserted me completely, the cad!  Eventually I'm wheeled to the 4th floor which is the Respiratory Unit of the Hospital.

They wheel my bed into a twin sharing room, and tell me to settle in as the nurses will come to do the rounds and the Respiratory Team will have a chat with me.  So I look around me and I'm sharing the room with another lady, who's also had a bit of surprise as she was actually on holiday when this happened to her, her family are visiting so I draw my curtains and get all my gizmo's out and settle in. I then ask the nurse if there is any breakfast as I haven't eaten at all since yesterday, so she finds me a sandwich first.(good ol sanies eh...)   I've informed my buddy Annie where I am as she wings in with a Latte .. bless bless bless. and my daughter the heavenly child will pop by with my son Boney M after work/school.  Ok we're set.

Coffeeeeeeeeee (or cofe fe ??) 

Annie is looking at me, I've known this woman since we were kids in school in Hong Kong, I can feel the wheels of her mind cranking up.  "Daph" she starts - this has been a shitty week for you" , I hold up my hand and say " It is what it is, and we'll deal with yah?"  "absolutely lovely, I'm here for you, I will do what ever I can to help".   Done.
 The nursing team comes in, introduces them selves, writes their names on to board so I know who's on call, and show me how to buzz them.  They are a lively, chirpy happy bunch, with easy smiles and a shoulder when you need a cry (and believe me I cried plenty).   A while later the head of Radiology and her little cutie pie intern comes in, obliviously I'm not a hospital regular so now days  there were no more doctors gowns with stethoscopes hanging from their chests and intense I know it all faces.  More like laid back clever people , dressed as hip as today's trends would allow with a very sympathetic attitude and  a lot of empathy for the patient.  

I didn't actually have their pics, they'd be mortified!!! 

The chat started with "Dx so you have been told that we need to do more tests on you, we suspect it could be Lymphoma, we need to do a biopsy and take tissue samples out via the CT scan imaging, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?" .. "yeah when can I leave?" .. No? ok so what is Lymphoma.?  It is a type of blood cancer that begins in the lympathic system.  Everyday our bodies carry stem cells and cells to all parts, cancer cells replicate and die, however if one of the cells becomes infected  they undergo a cancerous change, and multiply in an uncontrolled way, these  lymphoma cells, form collections of cancer cells called tumours, in lymph nodes and other parts of the body, hence the mass on my lung.  Ahhh . (not so light bulb moment) 

Annie's mind I can see is already gong into overdrive, and she's shooting questions out, the Doctors won't give her any more speculation, it is all suspected for the moment and they can only find out more after the biopsy.  Oh yes the biopsy... do tell..  "Oh don't worry Dx you'll have lots of local anaesthetic so not much discomfort".  "Oh I shall be awake for this one then shall I... lovely, can't wait.. bring it on."
Unfortunately there was a bit of a mix up, I was not supposed to have eaten anything as they scheduled the biopsy that day so since I had,  they rescheduled for the next day.  (suspense much)  I did however mange to explore the food courts in the Hospital..  and got my kids to sneak me in my fav pack of salt and vinegar chips for possible snack time as I believe this is the case worldwide,   Hospital Food SUCKS a big one.   

Yea, breakfast for champions...

The next morning, the nurses come to to the shift change and they all look at me and say NIL by mouth!  OK OK I get it, do not feed the animal in bed 26, geezzz.
To say I wasn't shitting bricks sideways  regarding the biopsy would be an understatement, the nurses brought more gowns in for me and an antiseptic wash for my shower,  they then wheeled me down to radiology, (hey I've been here before!)  The orderlies are so funny, mine said "Hi, I'm Steve and I'll be your uber ride for the day.!".. uh huh!.  They ask if you need a blanket, if you want socks .... who trains these people.. they're great! 

Eventually I get wheeled into the CT scan room, so what's going to happen is they will use the CT scan imagining to get the perfect spot to go in from my front , avoiding ribs etc to lessen pain.  The Nurses get me on the gurney for the CT scan and make me wear the gown opening up the front.  It is protocol to ask my full name and birth day every time they do anything.  They then send me into the dough nut several times, stopping above my ribs and neck , they bring me back out.  The Doctor who is a lovely lady comes in and introduces her self, she says she met me yesterday and that she'd try to minimise the discomfort.    First they had to wash the area and prep it, which was on my left breast.. oh yeah well that mammary was about to have another memory! ha ha..  Then the dressing sheet, more in and out of the CT scan, monitors winging left to right and she said "ok I'm going to administer your anesthetic, I'll try to go as easy as I can" ,  'wokay" me thinks.  I ask her to just keep talking to me and explaining what she's doing as it made it easier for my racing brain to cope with the over imaginative thoughts.  As she was sinking the very long needle into my chest, I did to my inner warrior goddess shame, the "pain noises" , and  you know what, the Doc, apologised to me,  "I'm sorry Dx it won't be much longer we've gone through one layer I need to get to the lung now so you won't feel anything,"  "Urngghhh" yeah oook, but that .. hurts" .   "Just a bit more I'm sorry, tell me about your kids, where are you from , you have a very distinctive accent" ... And finally the needle was done and she managed to mark a spot.  I heard a clank and asked her what she was doing, "oh I made a small incision to insert a tube in, oh right, felt like some tapping on my muscles.
" I'm gong to send you in through the CT scan again as I want to make sure I've got it just right ".  Oh sure,  So when I come out of the CT scan I ask her how many samples she'll be taking, she says about 2 to 4, the more we can get the better.  I look down and I see all manner of steel things sticking out of my chest.. oh hey.   Then she says "Dx I'm going to use this  to take a sample, it makes a clicking noise when I press it like this" (it looks like for lack of a better word a mini pooper scooper... SERIOUSLY!!), it clicks and she blinks her eyes, riggghhtt.  I'm just going to watch her because I'm not in the land of pain anymore, I'm now fascinated at how doc's going to get all my tissue sample.   So she goes in the first time and "click" blinks her eyes and looks at me, OK.. yep, second one does the same,  so I ask how many more bits of my lung are you taking Doc?  and wouldn't you know it, behind me is also another Doctor , the voice says "ve vill need as many as ve can get now, so ve vill not haf to go back inside and do another biopsy, it's safer as well madam and ve can do our testing faster"... right right... I"m trying not to giggle, my sense of humour just has no timing at all.
Four samples later, they CT scan me again before they pull everything out so they get the angle right, and all I get is a transparent dressing the size of an Orange along my inner to outer breast ...(not a fair exchange... a glass of bubbly would have been appreciated) 
The Doc says "good luck Dx, we'll try to do as much as we can but its a long weekend here so the tests will only be in on Tuesday next week,"  "Thanks Doc, I mean it, you've been so good to me."
The nurses come in and say "don't move, we'll move ya!"  They slide me onto my bed and wheel me to my room. 
Annie is there waiting with a coffee, that I can't drink as I have to lie flat for the next 2 hours and so she improvises with a straw... that woman is magic.  So she wants all the deets, once she hears the results wont be in till Tuesday, she's already asking if I can be discharged tomorrow so I wont' have to be twiddling my thumbs in hospital.  We'll ask the doctor!  Kids come to visit and bring me a meal, and change of clothes (like i need it now)

Staking out the joint to see if it's safe from Doctors! 

Now all this time the nurses always ask me if I'm allergic to anything, I"m like "uh not that I know of", that evening I actually have a shot that has to be administered by the nurse.  "What is it?" I say, it's Clexane stops unwanted blood clots from forming, right e o.  So she needles me in the belly, "ouch that stings " I say, "yeah it will for a bit" says night nurse.  Okk.  10 minutes later ... Ur nurse , it's still stinging.. "hmnnn let me see do you have a rash , no, ok lets give a bit of time."   20 mins later... "nurse I dont' feel so good".. " Ok let me come back from my round and check on you" .  30 mins later my mouth is tingling and my tongue starts to swell,  she looks at me and says yup your tongue is swelling, I go get the doctor.  In five minutes it's like Grey's anatomy, I have one emergency doctor, one doctor on call , one attending doctor , nurses and all asking me to stick my tongue out , 'yes it's swollen" can you breathe' yes' lips still tingling yes... and then GET THIS, (oh sods law I hate yee)  OF ALL THE TIMES, when finally the "Mc Dreamy" of doctors is before me, he has to attend to me.  He needs to get my heart rate via the ol stethoscope, so he discreetly pushes it under my gown that is of course now bound in the front and because it has not been tied due to the biopsy... yes the left flap drops open and everyone has a view of a twin peak... , he mutters an apology and quickly pulls it back.  Stands next to me and asks more questions, the last one being "so how do you feel now.?".. I look at him and say, "well what do you think after having to stick my tongue out at more than 5 strangers in a a room and having no idea if this is an allergic reaction " ... "right, understood".... My brain flips me the bird and says "smashed that one D"
Eventually every one disperses, but they leave the defib next to my bed just in case.  I fall asleep in a wave of mortification, irritation, and dying to take  good swipe at Murphy's law.... don't think I'll see McDreamy again ....

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Slowly coming back

Woke up today pretty early in the morning, god knows why as it's the weekend and I usually want to lie in as any normal sane person would... However , something had to disturb my slumber. Mind out of the gutter please, it was noise, specifically children squabbling. They must have gotten pretty scared when I wrenched my door open and glared at them.. horrible mum that I am.. and gave them the evil eye. Through gritted teeth, I gave them a few stern words in my best and lowest growl. However a few minutes later the noise level was maxed up again. I'm obviously not as scary as I think I am!

Well I had a lovely evening the night before, I had gone to a Jacuzzi party, and before anyone starts to make salacious remarks, it was completely above board OK. I was invited over for a BBQ. The pool and jacuzzi are part and parcel of most condos. We were invited to hang out in the jacuzzi after appertisers, much to my consternation , as I most assuredly did not want anyone to see my ah.. one pack, but I was outvoted and all eight of us had to do with what we had. My dinner partner for the night had earlier texted me and said, "Now I only have 6 hours to get fit and acquire a six pax...hah!"

It was a lovely balmy night and the water was just right. Being in the water relaxed everyone and put all of us in great spirits. I thought to myself as I was floating along in the jacuzzi (it was a fairly large one) this is the most relaxed I've felt in ages, and lets face it, I've been pretty stressed out.

It's amazing what a few little words of encouragement and well wishes do to your mindset, I find that I'm in a happy mood today, even with the lack of sleep, more focused on what I need to do and can do. I've made some positive steps towards realizing my dreams and goals and that gives me the biggest buzz.