Tales from the Bush, part 3

Day 3, Daph's Caf Log (the Sun, new moon Mars, Venus, and Mercury in Virgo)

Oh will you please please shutttt uppppp, sodding birds!!,  Kookaburras sound like they’re having a mad rave up, do they not have volume control???? Doggie looks at me from the side of the bed, "time for breakfast " he says with his eyes.  It's only 6.30 am and we're in full swing.  I grab the dressing gown as the temperature has fallen, hop into slippers and trudge upstairs, bleary eyed to feed and let the dog out.  He looks at me as if to say "wot, you're not coming then?"  (he's english, so he speaks that way)

I stumble back to bed thinking I can get another hour in, BUT NO, the dog begins to bark. Well let’s check to see if someone is at the door. Oh yes, of course, delivery man, with a package (oh behave!) , the earlier the better his attitude seems to say.  I keep a grip on the dog's collar, as delivery man tries to pet the dog.  Can't you see this is a trained attack dog that can kill at 20 paces? ...Not. I think the wagging tail gives it away.  People love Labradors, full stop. 

Leader of the Pack!

The day meanders on, and it's time to let the evil chooks out for their "run".  I head down to the coop and they all gather round the door, "don't even think of rushing me again girls, I've got my ammo with me again" I tell them as I open the door.  Oh, the look of utter disdain on their faces, I swear they're actually grumbling about me.  I go and check to see if there are any eggs, there must be mutiny on the bounty, as no one as laid ANY EGGS!  Oooo, well good thing I'm not having breakfast this morning eh.

Dog and I go for a trot later, and a mad gnashing black ball of fur comes hurtling out of a house trying to attack us.  Doggie just looks at it as if to say, "oi oi, what's YOUR problem guv".  The owner of the white gnashing teeth and black fur runs after his dog and apologises profusely as everyone winds their way around me and I stand in the middle screeching "arrrggghhhhh", like the big girls blouse that I am.    Well that was the excitement for the day.

and it poured down with rain, talk about a bumpy ride!

Lurch aka youngest son arrives later that evening, hens are already in the coop, everything is quiet, looking forward to good night’s sleep. I wonder what the evil cluckers will get up to tomorrow. For now… zzzzzzz

-->

Tales from the Bush, the log book.

Day 1, Daph's Caf Log (full moon in virgo)

Have arrived finally at the Capital, forgot to eat or have a coffee in my haste to get public transport to my destination, so was grumpy with hunger.  The Godmother whisked me to a mall as she had some errands to do, there she fed and watered me, thankfully, or I would have bitten her arm off (in hunger and anger... whichever is preferable at the time...)  I've also managed to mess up my con call with my tribe so no one is gong to save me now.

We arrive at casa Godmother, and the pygmies come bounding down the stairs to greet me.  It is a common custom they say, for these albino pygmies to jump on you and wrap their arms around you, or  so I've been told. "Stop calling them PYGMIES Daph! They're kids", shouts The Godmother.  Right... David Attenborough  mode off.

The Gin Deck of the House... he he he

I've agreed to house sit for a week, this means apart from getting a 5 bedroom house on an acre of land to myself, I also have a few "chores" to do.  One of the chores is to take care of their gorgeous brown Labrador doggie who is so laid back and the other chore, that has my inner "city girl" nostrils flaring, are the "hens" aka killer chooks who need to be let out of the coop at the bottom of the yard, next to the lemon trees.  "Don't worry, they will go back in on their own once the sun goes down" assures father to the pygmies and husband to The Godmother.  uh huh, righto.

Take me for a walk pleaseeeeee

Another godmother in disguise arrives, so do more pygmies, I am being plied with champagne and quiche (caviar is so passé sweetie dahlinks).  They plot, they cackle, they speak their own coded talk, (you know, mommy speak)  I eventually flee to my cave aka the guest room which is fabulous as it's on it's own floor downstairs.   He he he, this will be a walk in the park, are my last thoughts as I fall asleep , but I wake up a little while later, heard someone snoring... oh.. it's me. zzzzzz